Crap: The Blog

Moved

2010-06-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

I've put this blog on a new service, and updates from here forward can be read at http://www.benkanter.com.

New Stuff!

2010-06-04T10:43:00.001-07:00

So I had a coupon code, so now I own www.benkanter.com. It points here for now. Also, I put a little Twitter dealy in the side dealy, so dealy bonus time.

For some reason "dealy" was not, until now, in Firefox's spell check dictionary. For shame.

The Return of The Return

2010-05-13T10:22:00.001-07:00

I'm making some changes today.

Some of these changes I've made before, and they've never quite taken. Posting in this blog is an obvious one. There are more, but they're boring and personal and that isn't ever what I really wanted this to be about.

I quit playing Facebook games today. This seems sort of minor in the grand scheme, but it's a big step for me. Some of you (and I'm sure there aren't any of you left) may not know that I'm working towards a personal dream of being a comic creator. It's a long ways away, but I love the process. Part of that process is figuring out parts of my day that are wasted time, and converting that time to useful pursuits. Facebook games are almost by definition wasted time.

Learning how to write consistently is absolutely a useful pursuit.

Welcome back to the stage of Crap, internet. Welcome back.

Tweeter twitter twoo

2009-01-06T09:03:00.000-08:00

I Twitter now. It's a lot easier than updating a blog

http://twitter.com/ZombieKanter

Done

2008-12-16T08:01:00.001-08:00

I got married.

Umm... like six months ago.

I'm getting married.

2008-06-09T11:48:00.001-07:00

Seriously.

So, that's what I'll be doing for a while here.

Where I'll Be When You Come Looking For Me

2008-05-29T20:35:00.000-07:00

I was in Lake City yesterday. This is the lake:

These seemed cool and unique when I was taking them.

Better?

This one has a bird.

This one's actually a hill across the road from the lake. I actually really like how vibrant the greens came out on these pictures, it lends a tropical island feel to all of them.

It's actually pretty long.

This is where Rachel will be teaching.

Same caption as before, but more specific.

Unrestrained

2008-05-13T02:47:00.000-07:00

I just discovered a really cool word: Nuannaarpoq. It's Inuit, and roughly translates to "unrestrained joy at the acts of living."

It's rare to find a single word that sums up everything you want.

Things Which Annoy

2008-04-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

I have a near constant urge to create, to express myself. I want to turn the thoughts and feelings in my head into a media that I can show to you and say, "This. This is what I think. This is what I feel. Understand me." There are a couple problems with this.

The first is that it's utterly impossible. That seems like a fairly major issue, but it's not too bad in the end, because it's impossible for everyone, and frankly, that fact is so hardwired into my consciousness it took me a while to remember to write it here, because I had already taken it as a given.

The second is a lack of skill. Coupled with a short attention span, this means I can't put even a moderate facsimile of the image, object, words, music, or whatever in my head that I think might be able to represent what I want it to represent. This bugs the everliving crap out of me. This is what drives my love of paper and pens and pencils and paper and also paper. These things, for me, represent the potential to not screw up and actually create something that I want to create, and be able to get that little bit of whatever it is that drives the creative impulse out of me. If you've known me long enough, it's possible you've seen me carry around a notebook, and never write or draw in it, or maybe you've even seen me open it and not put anything on the paper. Maybe, if I was feeling really frustrated that day, you saw me draw a line on one piece of paper. It was probably curvy. Then I stared at it in frustration, turned the page, and didn't do anything else. If you ever saw this, and you probably haven't, you might have wondered about it. You probably didn't. In either case, this was me trying to transcribe emotion to paper, and failing miserably.

Sometimes I actually feel better just staring at a blank notebook then I do once I've put something in the notebook. I feel (not necessarily in such precise, conscious terms) that I might be able to create something this time, that the blank space represents possibility, represents a future where in I have given the world a tool to understand the crap that's flying around in my head. And then my pencil or pen or sharpie touches the paper, and the possibility is gone. The wavefront has collapsed, and there's a wavy line on the paper that isn't art, isn't profound, isn't a representation of my thoughts or feelings or ideas or my affection for you or for my parents or for my God or for anyone. It doesn't represent any sort of truth, it doesn't teach, it doesn't evoke emotion. You will not be changed by it. I will not be changed by creating it. It is a line. A curvy line. A curvy line in a ratty notebook. At some point I may throw it away. I won't remember what I was thinking or feeling when I drew it. I won't necessarily think about any of the things I've written here that I often think about. Actually, I most likely won't.

I don't know why I have this urge, but it bothers me sometimes.

I don't know why I feel the need to communicate this today. I feel like I haven't said what I wanted to say, and haven't told you what I really feel and think about the subject. I feel like this post is a wavy line.

Oh, snap! I said I was doing this diary thing maybe, but you didn't know it was going to be emo!

Webcomic: Able and Baker

2008-04-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

Able and Baker
http://www.jimburgessdesign.com/comics/
Updates most weekdays

Alright, Crap: My Readers, here's where this stuff starts. Able and Baker is a comic that's easy to like. It recounts the exploits of a sheep (Baker) and a monkey (Able) who are anthropomorphic in a standard comic manner, and employed by scientists as test animals. (Which generally involves them flying a spacecraft.) That whole last sentence sounded really dry and boring, which is pretty much the opposite of the comic.

A&B is lighthearted and fun. The humor is great, it's easy to laugh at, making Able and Baker one of the most easy to just straight up enjoy comics on my reading list. The art is simple, but the lines are clean, the colors are bright, and the characters and environments are expressive.

Seriously, just go read a few. There's a fairly extensive archive of comics, but you can pretty much jump right in. There are a few story arcs and references to past comics, but that's pretty minimal. Read a few, you'll probably like it.

Metareview

2008-04-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this will post under the actual first webcomic review, but whatever.

I'm not 100% sure how I want to do these things. Webcomics criticism has been done to death, buried, dug up, zombified, and beat back to death with a blunt object, and then had a close up of it's face shown after the credits with its eyes opening and a dramatic music cue, leaving the stage open for a sequel if anyone actually goes to the first one, which, considering the budget and content, seems unlikely.

I'm no longer even 100% sure what this post is about, so I'll just get to what is most likely my point.

I'm going to attempt to approach this as more of a webcomic recommendation than an actual review. There is a giant crap pile of bad comics out there, and I feel no need to point them out for ridicule. I'm just going to tell you about a comic I like, and then tell you why I like it. This seems like the sort of thing that should work, and that I might maybe be able to do on a regular basis. (Ha ha, guffaw.)

But, as always, this is all subject to change at any time.

So, yeah.

Permanent Observations

2008-04-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

so I was in the Student Center on Friday, and I stepped into the women's bathroom to change out of some of my dress clothing [[I had a big to-do previous to this -- go me]]. I naturally went into one of the stalls to change, and I noticed that someone had used black permanent marker [[yay, sharpie!]] to decorate the toilet paper dispenser -- a mounted silver contraption -- with a few choice words, which, needless to say, left me smirking.

the words:

"fight apathy! ... or, don't."

State of the Blog Address

2008-03-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

I've done this before, blogfans, and I'll probably do it again, but I'm trying something with the blog to see if I can motivate myself to post more.

There are three main reasons I don't post much.

The first is laziness, and that's not going away.

The second is lack of a topic. To that end I'll be trying to do webcomic reviews weekly or so. I read a lot of webcomics, and I think maybe you people should read some of them.

The third is that I don't like to sully all the crap with overly diary type stuff. I am, however, aware that some of you would probably read that. So, I'm labeling all the posts. Normal random crap will be labeled as such, and you'll have the option to read just that. Webcomic reviews and diary posts will also have separate labels, and you'll be able to read those by themselves as well. The main page will still show all posts.

Capiche?

for all those d&d...

2008-03-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

r.i.p.

No, but I know his younger brother, Who.

2008-01-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

You know what?

Rae keeps bugging me about not updating this infernal thing, and I just today realized that Rae could be updating it, too. Seriously, just because it's my blog, I have to do all the work? What kind of a policy is that? Who put that into effect? I can guarantee it wasn't me. That definitely doesn't sound like something I would decide is a good idea.

On a related note: Ham sandwiches. Pretty cool, right?

O frabjous day!

2007-06-06T02:46:00.000-07:00

When all you have is a vorpal sword, everything starts to look like a Jabberwock.

Yes, I am suffering from some insomnia. Why do you ask?

Briiiaaannnn, Brriiiiiiiiiiiaaaaan!

2007-06-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm going to level with all ya'alls: I am so bored right now. Like, becoming a zombie bored. Becoming a vegetarian zombie bored.

Seriously, I have done nearly nothing for almost two solid weeks, and I'm getting crazier than a 540 Indy Nosebone McTwist over an erupting volcano into a vat with seven sharks armed with a standard 6-shooter.

In case you don't speak Awesomenese, that's pretty crazy.

But, yeah, it's not really the kind of crazy that tends to produce blog posts.

Yup, you guessed it: This has been a convoluted apology post.

A Pictographic Analysis of the Situation at Hand, or, Crappy Cellphone Pictures Ahead: Viewer Beware!

2007-04-23T23:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome back, boys and girls.

This = late.

Thus, I owe you many pictures. So, without further ado, a pictoral tour of my new domicile:

This is my stove. It's a great example of the style of decor you'll notice throughout the apartment, namely: old.

Here we have a closeup of my spice rack. Items of note are my finger, two nearly full things of Lawry's Seasoned Salt, and blurry motion photography, indicating that this is where the action happens.

To fully appreciate this photo, it is recommended that you blast "Also Sprach Zarathustra" and imagine monkeys smashing bones.

Ramen, peanut butter, and hot cocoa: staples on which a man can live for nearly an eternity, if not longer.

This is the location from which this very blog post is being created, through a process we at C:tB like to call "Cremagication."

The Pikey Hat rests atop my Bible near the cable that hooks my compy up to the Interwebs. Something Zen is happening in this photo, but I can't quite determine what precisely it is.

The magic blinky lights that indicate that the internet is hooked up and pumping information, IV like, directly into my brain.

This is the trim in my living room. It cracks me up.

A wide shot of the living room. Things to note: Old looking furniture, old looking walls, and tiny, old looking windows.

Push the black thingy in the tank down after you flush.

LOL MYSPACE

If you took every closet I've ever had in my life, before this, and put them all together, they would still be smaller than this closet. It makes me feel just a little girly that this is one of my favorite features of the apartment.

MYSPACE 2: ELECTRIC LOLGALOO

I love lamp.

As you enter my apartment, you are greeted with this friendly reminder. Welcome mats are so cliche.

Tours in the blogosphere end differently than most tours: With the entrance.

That's all.

I probably still owe you like a million posts.

Meh.

Reason Why Ben Hasn't Posted...

2007-04-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

He's lazy, and not afraid to get in your face about it.

Let's talk.

2007-02-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm hyper-late now.

But, it's not my fault.

You see, there was a log-in issue with Blogger that was being super annoying, and I e-mailed the Google guys, and they got back to me with a workaround, so here is a post full of this run-on sentence.

So, while this post is late, it is, as stated above, not my fault. Therefore, I'm going to insert the two missing posts below this one, and give you some random photos, but not of me.

Sound good?

kthanxbai!

EDIT: Posts in place. (One is below Rae's, as they're posted on the dates they were supposed to go up.) Pictures to come.

Pikey Hat: A Retrospective

2007-02-16T20:05:00.000-08:00

So, I have this hat, which I refer to as my Pikey Hat. This is the story of this hat.

Born at the Henschel Hat Manufacturing company in St. Louis, Missouri, the hat soon moved to San Francisco, where it spent some time at a weird specialty hat store on Pier 39. It was there that I first met the pikey hat.

Though I liked the cut of its jib, I didn't immediately buy the hat, because it's price was a bit rich for my blood. However, as I walked out of the store, I realized that a hat that cool that actually fit on my head was too rare a find to just walk out on, so I purchased it.

The pikey hat and I went on to have many adventures together. It was with me for the rest of that trip to California, and a number of later band trips as well, seeing many of the sights.

It came with me when I went to visit Iowa State University, in hopes of attending that college. When I accidently left it in a Chinese Buffet, it waited patiently for my return two days later. The woman at the desk recognized me, and immediately gave me my hat back. I had always had a suspicion, but it was then that I realized that what I had was a lucky hat.

Now, the hat doesn't cause me luck, (though I did wear it on some early (and more recent) dates with my lady friend) the hat itself is lucky. The incident in Iowa is only one of many times that hat has been lost, but it's always found its way back. When it was getting dirty, it was also the perfect hat for my role in Screwtape, and managed to get itself dry cleaned as a result of me getting stage makeup in it.

The hat now plays a quiet role in my day-to-day existence. It gets worn as head protection when the weather is cold, but the occasion calls for something a little dressier than my Mountain Dew beanie. During the warmer months, it also serves to make me look cool. (No mean feat.) And, on occasion, it covers up the LED's on my mouse so I can sleep in the tiny room I live in without having to turn the compy off.

This is all probably interesting to no one but me.

I think the hat would like it that way.

Because I Promised Manda..

2007-02-13T06:48:00.000-08:00

Here are pictures of my corner dorm room. Is it not nifty?
[My stuff's the loft and the desk right by the loft and the door.]

Gratzorgravy! (A World of Warcraft Adventure)

2007-02-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

Kluber, The Grease, Paladin of the Silver Hand sniffed the wind, and immediately regretted it. The fetid stink of the Living Dead filled the air. He spied one of the foul abominations over the next rise. Calling upon the holy energies that coursed through him, he rushed into battle, easily smiting his foe.

Seeing a potential vulnerability, another of the damned rushed at his back. He crushed this one with the same ease as the first. "Lolz!" he proclaimed, /spitting on the corpse.

All of the sudden, a rush of golden light and a peculiar "BWOOHM!" sound came about Kluber. He knew this sensation! "Ding!" he shouted in exultation, "Zomg! Teh 60!"

"Gratz!" was the resounding reply from the heavens.

Kluber was rejoicing that he had reached the pinnacle of Paladinhood when another voice from the heavens, one of these "guildies" said, "Dude, now get to 70."

So overcome was Kluber that he fell to his knees and screamed to the sky, "HAX!!!!"

After a moment of grief, Kluber arose and shouldered his hammer.

There were things that yet needed to be killed.

Interview With A Blogpire

2007-01-31T11:14:00.000-08:00

My friend Stacey sent me the following proof that I've always been this weird. This is from high school.

The following are the actual questions asked and the actual responses given by Ben Kanter.

Q: What is your name backwards?

A: Retnak Nhoj Nimajneb

Q: Who is the most inspirational Sesame Street character?

A: Oscar because Oscar don’t take no gruff from nobody

Q: What is you favorite element and why?

A: Vanadium because it sounds cool

Q: If you had to be stranded on a desert island for the rest of your life, who of the opposite sex would you take you?

A: (grabs me) YOU

Q: Why?

A: You’re standing right there.

Q: In you dream house, what would your front door knob look like?

A: A dragon’s head, that would be so cool.

Q: What animal would you be?

A: A platypus because they’re mammals yet they lays eggs

Q: Which leg do you put in your pants first?

A: I just put both feet in at once and slide them up.

Q: If you were the president of Djibouti, what would the first line of the national anthem be?

A: What’s up in Djibouti?

Q: What would be your Indian name?

A: Buffalo with tail in air

Q: If you had to loose one body part, what would you choose?

A: My left leg because I don’t use it very often. No, wait, one of my kidneys because you only need one. Oh, yeah yeah, put down nipple ‘cuz I got a spare.

Q: If you had to add one body part, what would you choose?

A: I would put an extra hand on my arm so it would be facing the other hand so I could clap with only one hand.

Q: If you had a Captain Planet ring, what would your power be?

A: Gronndy’s mom. If you don’t think that’s a power then you obviously haven’t met Gronndy’s mom.

Q: What’s your favorite quote from Toy Story?

A: “Who’s behind? Mine”

Q: Paper towel or hand dryer?

A: Both. You get most of the moisture off with the dryer, but then get the rest with the towel.

Q: Paper or plastic?

A: Plastic because I need them for cleaning the cat box

You're welcome, internet.

Keep Your Feet On The Ground!

2007-01-26T20:16:00.000-08:00

So, this one time when I had medium length hair, and a big beard...

Namely, today...

I needed to get up early to buy my mother crutches. You see, she had to teach at 8, which, coincidentally is when Walgreens (The only local convenient source of crutches) opens. So, 8 am found me in line at the checkout in Walgreens, crutches in hand. The cashier asked me if I wanted a twenty-five cent package of some candy they had on promotion.

I play a lot of World of Warcraft. In World of Warcraft there are two main factions that players can be a part of: The Horde, and The Alliance. There is typically a great deal of animosity between these two factions, as their digital avatars tend to kill each other.

I play Alliance.

The cashier asked me if I wanted a twenty-five cent package of some candy they had on promotion. I said sure. Having already paid for my crutches with my debit card, I handed him a quarter from my pocket, and he took the box of candy from the large stack next to the register. Then he uttered the fateful words, "Heh, shrinking my horde."

Then I said (supposing I was speaking too quietly to be heard), "Alliance for the win."

He looked at me strangely. (Disproving my supposition.)

As I walked out the door, the customer behind me in line yelled to my back, "For the Horde!"

I think my friend Kaleb summed it up best when he said, "NEEERDZ!!"

kthnxbai

A Conundrum, Wrapped in an Enigma, Wrapped in a Warm Flour Tortilla

2007-01-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Hi!

Anyone here...

Didn't think so. Good. Things are as normal.

Now, to type as if you were here:
Hello, readers. Welcome back to Crap: The Blog, the Blog where everything's made up and Rae stalks me. You may be wondering why there have been no posts of late. You are probably only wondering this if you're new to C:tB, because lack of posting is what we do around here.

That's about to change.

Ladies, gentlemen, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, I hereby announce that I will officially be updating at least once every 8 days.

Let me say that again: I (your beloved leader) will update this (your beloved blog) every eight (your beloved... umm... number) days. This means that I pledge that from this point until some point in the future there will be no more than eight days between posts. Why eight, you ask? Because I chose that number arbitrarily.

Veteran readers of my blog were skeptical quite a while ago, and are now saying to themselves, "Yeah, right, what's to keep him in line?" Fear not, gentle readers, I have a plan. For I have acquired a digital camera, and, for every day a post is late, I will use said camera to take a picture of me doing something stupid.

You heard me.

Or read me.

Err... the blog post I typed.

Be not afraid, I already have a backlog of apology photos ready to go.

Good night, internet, sleep well, good work today.

I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

Lovely Set of Circumstances

2006-10-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

My roommate's really happy right now. I'm getting sick. That's not specifically what's making her happy, mind you, as she doesn't want to get sick, and as she doesn't want to annoy me to the point where I kill her as soon as I'm well [her own words]. She's happy because I'm losing my voice, and it's amusing to hear me try to respond to her questions, or to try to figure out what my expression means. [This is the part where several of you would probably consider calling me to have a bit of fun yourselves, but fortunately, I don't believe any of you know my dorm number.] Still, it's interesting to see who's good at reading lips, and who's not. It's already a challenge for my roommate anyway, as she founded a group in my honour: IDALTARS. That would be I Don't Actually Listen To Anything Rae Says. It's quickly growing, and someday may make it to facebook. In the meantime, back to homework...

WTB Gaelic Storm PST

2006-10-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

I would like to buy Gaelic Storm (a cool band). No, not their cds, the whole band. I don't really know anything about them but right now I'm willing to board them all in my room (space might be a problem, but there are enough couches around here to fix that problem). I was listening to some of their music last night via Peter/Carl/PC/UPC's shared iTunes. Today I've been listening to them and am thoroughly convinced that I need to find a cd somewhere and send one to my sister. I guess I'll have to settle for the Divers (another ueber fun band) Friday night. I'm sorry that you're going to miss it Rae!

Toodles kiddies!
-Manda

P.S. "Solace of my anger as I move into the infinite realm of passing shadows of the pain of the infinite shadows of the passing solace of the anger of my realm of passing infinite movement of the vortex of the anger of my pains of passing solace moving, shadows realms towards infinite forever and ever, a-men." -Wayne in "Aquaman" by the Divers (Listening to this part used to make me laugh a lot.)

Redirecting Guilt, Part Deux

2006-10-10T23:17:00.000-07:00

As you may, or probably haven't guessed from the previous post, we've added a third contributor. Or, rather, we've added a third person who won't post very often. This is part of our ongoing effort to spread the blame around, or add more content, or something else. (It probably involves an internet buzzword, like "intersphere stratocasting.")

Also, we've apparently decreased posting requirements to the point where sentence fragments and internet slang constitute meaningful updates.

Stratocasting, indeed.

Well done, interwebs, you've made heroes of us all.

Oh noes!

2006-10-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

Ben, do you realize what you might have unleashed upon the net?

for Amanda

2006-09-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

The League of Extraordinary Gentlethings

2006-08-31T21:24:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, rae got the first part of the big news out of the way. If you haven't figured it out yet, rae is now a contributing member of Crap: The Blog.

In other news, we're now taking applications for additional content writerers. If you'd like such an honorable position, e-mail me at rromagar (at) gmail (dot) com. Or, if you're lazy, you can just ask me.

What qualifications do you need to have to write for us? Not much! You don't have to be funny, as that would disqualify me, and you don't have to have good taste in who you stalk, because that would disqualify rae. In other news, it's self-deprecation night!

Hugs and Kisses,

Ben

Crossing Minnesota

2006-08-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

The Internet travels unusually slowly. I mean, you'd expect her to be able to transport almost instantaneously. But no, she follows the speed limit and travels in a car. A lovely Cutlass named [Dread Pirate] Wesley, but a car nonetheless.

And as she travels, she passes through small little towns on her way to college. Little towns that have less than 300 people. Towns that require a person to slow down to 30 Miles Per Hour. No lie. Not that this irritates the Internet or anything.

In any case, in one of these towns, the Internet was reading passing signs to help pass the time. There weren't many signs to read on the main street -- more houses than anything else -- but there were a few, here and there. One in particular caught the Internet's attention, about 45 minutes from college. It was a sign for Terry's Market.

Terry's Market is a local grocery store. It doesn't look terribly big, but it suffices for a town of that miniscule size. Ahem. Terry's Market sign, out front, by the street, advertizes happily that Terry's Market carries Food, and Videos, and '56 Minute Photo'. Yes, you read that correctly, and the Internet did, too. '56 Minute Photo'.

Who does that? Are they so confident in their workers' competency levels that they feel they don't need the extra four minutes which are normally advertised? Dan the average high school student isn't going to screw up their statistics with how slowly he processes the film, due to the fact that he is detoxing from Dooski? Thelma isn't going to get too distracted talking to her friends at the counter to finish the job that crucial 4 minutes before an hour has passed?

Or do they just want to brag a little? Display a little 'in-your-face, major corporation who uses "1-hour photo" -- we get it done in much less time!'? That also would strike me as ridiculous. Perhaps it's merely to add a charming little small-town effect to the already decidedly obvious smallness of the town.

Or maybe their clock is fast.

Technology: 1, Me: 0

2006-08-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, something was up with Blogger and it wouldn't let me add new posts. I think I fixed it.

In other news, new and cool things are coming to C:tB, so stay tuned for details.

New and Exciting Pinnacles of Laziness

2006-07-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

So, since I'm too lazy to write actual posts, here's a conversation that I had with the internet (amélie):

amélie: good even, sir
me: Lo.
amélie: and how are you on this fine day?
me: Not too bad.
me: Yourself?
amélie: rather alright
me: Excellent.
amélie: indeed
amélie: but for the fact that you have not posted *stern look in your general direction, that being assumed east*
me: Yeah, yeah.
me: Not posting is so normal for me that it's just like posting.
amélie: true
amélie: but you taunt me with saying i'm in the background of a nonexistant picture.
amélie: and the most recent post's title always makes me think you're slowly killing the blog
me: Actually, the game pictured in that picture is mostly responsible for the blog's slow death.
me: It's not like I actually do anything worth writing about.
amélie: i used to laugh, mr. kanter
amélie: deprivation of laughter is a serious offence.
me: I'm not afraid to go back to jail.
amélie: no? that's convenient
amélie: and then you'd have interesting blog material to post about
amélie: huzzah
me: Actually, I'm probably just going to post this conversation.
me: Thanks for writing half a blog post.
amélie: you're quite welcome
amélie: what would you do, after all, without the internet stalking you?
me: Retire to a desert island.
amélie: well, thank goodness i exist then.
me: Indeed.
amélie: unless it was a dessert island..
me: Mmm... Dessert.
amélie: quite right
amélie: so what have you been up to lately?
me: Not much.
me: Work, sleep, work, sleep worksleep
amélie: work where?
me: At a doorknob factory.
amélie: really?
me: Yeah.
amélie: that sounds so cool
amélie: is it boring?
me: Pretty much.
amélie: i figured. that's sad.
me: Indeed.
amélie: did the tantalizing thought of dessert distract or deter you from discussion?
me: Yeah.
amélie: sad.
amélie: i made fudge the other day
me: Mmm... fudge.
amélie: and cookies.
me: Mmm... fudge and cookies.
amélie: yeah, happy fourth indeed.
amélie: speaking of the fourth, i burnt holes in a rogue beach ball to mark the occasion.
me: Cool.
amélie: what'd you do?
me: Nada mucho.

That was easy.

-Me

A slow death

2006-06-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

This shows about how my internet connection is right now:

Ouch.

The Thrill of Defeat

2006-05-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

Here we are once again, kids: The "I haven't updated in a while, so apologizing for not posting for awile is almost as good as a real post" post.

So, umm, yeah. I haven't posted in a while.

I hope that apology is as good as a real post.

Bye now.
-Ben

P.S. I'm almost done with school for this semester, which is kind of cool, but kind of not, because I'm going to miss all my college peeps, and my girlfriend will be several states away instead of being a three minute walk away and run-on sentences aren't very cool.

P.P.S. I am not very funny.

P.P.P.S. But, then, you already knew that.

P.P.P.P.S. It's really your fault, you know. You knew this would likely not be very funny, and yet you read it anyway. I mean, you really have no one to blame but yourself.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you like that. Seriously.

Insomnia 2: Electric Boogaloo

2006-05-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

I think I've figured it out, guys. I think my insomnia is related to stress. I always seem to have these wonderful sessions of insomnia soon after bad days. Last time I got a night's sleep between the day of stress and the night of no sleep, but this time no repreive was given. Crappy day. *BAM* No sleep.

This leads me to one inevitable conclusion: My subconscious hates me.

I figure the only solution is some sort of bloody coup in my brain, which mostly sounds like a really cool metaphor for a bad headache that I'll have to use sometime. (I'll have to use the metaphor, not the headache. Sorry, unclear antecedent.) Where was I? Oh yeah, so the resistance forces are meeting umm... resistance. This is likely because they're figments of my lack-of-sleep addled brain. However, in their defence, they only exist to combat that very brain, which doesn't really seem like a positive on their part, because I would think that anything who's sole purpose is to destroy the thing that makes it exist is unlikely to live a very fulfilling existence.

So, umm...

This post make no to less than that sense.

But, you already knew that.

And, you probably expected it, too.

I think the Electric Boogaloo reference might have tipped my hand.

Open Letter to Hoobastank

2006-04-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

(Considering how popular this blog is, I'm sure Hoobastank reads this, but just in case they don't, could someone who knows them just pass it along, thanks.)

Dear Hoobastank,
If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use your helicopter to get to the top.
You can't stop me no matter who you are.
Love,
Ben

In which our hero proves how truly uncool he really is

2006-04-26T19:55:00.000-07:00

Man, have you ever done that thing where you are listening to music and then you leave, and when you come back and turn the music back on you can't believe you had it that loud? I just did that. It was wild.

Less Than Jake is cool.

Umm... I have no real reason to post. I mostly am just hitting some hardcore writer's block on this Shakespeare paper I'm writing. I have a killer title. (I rule at titles. (Fun Fact: Last year I won the Elmer Schpederman Memorial Award for the best title on a paper in Literature and Writing II. True story.)(Addendum to fun fact: The title was: "my mind is a hunk of irrevocable nothing: The Thought Provoking Poetry of E.E. Cummings" Yes, that capitalization is correct. If you don't understand why, read some Cummings. It will hurt your brain in the very coolest way possible.)(Yes, I like poetry. No, I don't like Dickinson. Don't even ask. Dickinson sucks. Seriously.)(I'm wondering how many parentheticals I can string together here. (probably lots) These are really just devices for artificially extending post length, which is cool by me.))

myself, walking in Dragon st
one fine August
night,i just
happened to meet

"how do you do" she smiling
said "thought you
were earning your living
or probably dead"

so Jones was murdered by
a man named Smith and
we sailed on the
Leviathan

- "206" E.E. Cummings

Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

2006-04-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

Overall on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 means “completely unsatisfactory” and 10 means “perfect in every way”, how would you rate your and your household’s experience with the following fruit juice and fruit drink brands?

Repeat the Swelling Strains

2006-04-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

Ahh... Spring. That time when a young man's fancy turns to burning down all the trees on earth.

Stupid pollen spreading punks.

In other words, I hate allergies. Stupid things make me feel like I have gravel in my eye sockets, and my throat contantly feels dehydrated, no matter how much water I drink. Today the allergies brought a new weapon to the battlefield that is my immune system. They somehow managed to make my lip swell to inhuman size. This was rather annoying. I was just sitting in class, and zhoomp my lip ballooned right up. So weird. At first I thought that maybe my mutant powers (aside from the extra nipple) had finally arrived, but, alas, it was not to be. Superfluous nippleality will have to be my only power for now.

Most of these allergy problems seem to have been solved by the application of generic allergy medication. For only eight dolllars I can diminish my allergy symptoms for ten whole days! Hooray!

I hate allergies.

We'll Get the Blog to Kill the Pods!

2006-04-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

Hello, interwebs!

I'm almost tempted to pretend like I never left. But, I won't, because giving into temptations that you almost have is the epitome of wrongness and weakness of spirit.

Besides, by being not very funny at all, and making random obscure references to random obscure things in my post titles it's like I never left.

In any case, I missed you internet. (Yes, even you, you crazy stalker. (Fun fact: In the original version of my profile photo you can actually see my internet stalker in the background.)) So, I will now return to my regularly scheduled program of updating intermittently and then half-heartedly apologizing when I return.

Also, sometimes I will be funny, but mostly not.

The really funny part about this whole post is that it's written as if I almost believe that someone still reads this thing. Whatever. I'm going to stick it in my IM name and redesign the site, and hope for the best.

Love ya, you crazy interweb monkeys, you.

Excuses, excuses

2005-06-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

So, if you've been wondering where I've been the last two months, the answer is probably "sitting here, not doing anything." However, the answer I'm going to go with is that I've been working with my crew over at www.gamer-station.net. You guys should check it out, yo. We at GS promise to deliver at least mediocre gaming information on a semi-regular basis. w007!

I Must Destroy This Man, And Steal His Existence

2005-05-24T09:36:00.001-07:00

So, I'm listening to The Corrs today. (Yes, I listen to The Corrs. Yes, I'm comfortable with that.) And, as I was doing so, I looked at the cover of the album. (VH1 Presents: The Corrs - Live in Dublin; I'm not sure what VH1 has to do with anything, but they did present this CD to me, so I suppose I should be grateful for that.) Anyway, I realized that the luckiest man alive is the one guy in The Corrs. Seriously, that guy hangs around with three good looking Irish ladies on a regular basis. If any of you out there in interweb land know me, you know that that is pretty much my dream existence.

I mean, I like the ladies. I like the Irish. I'm somewhat fond of the number three. Three Irish ladies? That's just freaking sweet.

You'll notcie that I didn't spend the time on this post to look up the name of that guy from The Corrs, because that would just make taking over his very existence that much less challenging, and thus that much less rewarding. However, I am lazy, so I will instead probably just listen to more Corrs.

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.

Who can hang a name on you?

I mean, seriously, come on.

2005-05-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Time for my "I haven't posted anything in a couple weeks" apology post.

I'm sorry.

Pfft. Not really.

I am almost done with school for the year. That's pretty cool. But, it also means that I'll have to be home with my family and working at Sentry. Yeah, that's not fun. However, Scott and I are going to go to a Bascom Hill show. They're a really good local band from Madison. They seem to be on the verge of breaking out into the national musci scene, which is pretty crazy, because that never happens to any of the crazy little indie bands I like. And Basom's one of my favorites, especially since my mom used to work with one of the guys from it, and I've been a fan since waaaay back when they called themselves Tasty Wanton. The guy from the band that my mom knew let her have one of their demo CDs, and I've been hooked ever since. If you get a chance to see these guys, go for it.

Well, that's all the barely funny tripe I'm going to subject you all to this time.

Have fun with whatever it is you do.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

2005-04-26T23:12:00.000-07:00

Following the emo crap that was my last post, raelien enquired as to whether or not survival was a rquirement. As we've always been open for questions here at Crap: the Blog, I will now field that one, and I will use lots of quotes to do so, so as to lessen my own work.

Woody Allen once said, "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." However, it was Collete who said, "The total absence of humor renders life impossible." A conundrum. Therefore, since I cannot die, and we need humor, we must go on to Mel Brooks: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

Priceless.

"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of the humorless."
- Robert Benchly

P.S. I'm in Macbeth this weekend. Please wish me many broken limbs.

Two and fifty of the mornevening

2005-04-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I should be writing a paper right now, but i can't make myself do it just yet, so, here I am.

Allow me to wax philosophical for a bit. (I do this at this time of day.) I find it amazing how much abuse the human body can actually take. I'm pretty sure I'm chronically deprived of sleep this week, and yet I continue to be able to make my body forge forward through yet another all-nighter. I churn out word after word, paragraph after paragraph, papers flowing from my mind to my fingers to the keyboard to the screen. Hours of this. Listening to my music. Dashboard Confessional resounds while I analyze the poetry of E.E. Cummings. My desk lamp casts strange shadows on my keyboard, and outside the circle of its light everything is blurred. I am the center of the sphere of light that is my universe. Zen poetry. Images from my evening or morning or whatnot: MountainDewAcetaminophenWristwatch. A thirty sided die reflects the the glow of a Light Emitting Diode on the keyboard of the computer I'm using to write a paper about poetry. I blog it.

I am Pangeek.

Now all I need to do is be funny.

Did you know that somebody reads this crap?

2005-04-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

So, it turns out I get an average of ten page hits a week that aren't me!

That means that like two people read this!

Maybe even three!

Or four!

I love you guys.

But seriously, what the heck. Now I feel all responsible for updating and stuff, and being all funny and whatever. Man, the nerve of you people.

Go home.

Oh, and rae, I refuse to acknowledge that you're stalking me.

Crap!

Spring Fever - Diagnosis: Botulism

2005-04-04T22:29:00.000-07:00

So, it's spring, which entails several interseting things.

Some of these things I like, like pretty girls in warm weather clothing. (See: not much!)

Some of these things I do not like, like said warm weather gear clad females sucking face with guys who are not me. (Ho-hum.)

And now, I shall cease to whine.

Enjoy your silence while it lasts.

P.S. Ladies, you know where to find me.

So I said,

2005-03-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

"If geekiness were Kool-Aid, I'd be breaking through a wall shouting, 'Oh yeah!'"

Once again, too long.

2005-03-18T23:20:00.000-08:00

Far too long between posts once more. Meh, it's not like I actually care. I'm just kidding. But, seriously.

So, events recap since last post:
1. My birthday. I'm nineteen. This means nothing. I did get a microwave.
2. All clothing for a quarter sale at Treasure Haus. (New Ulm's own thrift store) Pretty sure fulfilled one of the better fortune cookie fortunes of all time: "You will get some new clothes."
3. St. Patrick's day. As #1 means squat, and I'm not at home ot get Irish dinner, this pretty much wasn't that cool. I wore a "Kiss me, I'm Irish" button all day, and no one did.

Now is the part of the post where I usually make some keen sarcastic observation. Or something. It might just be gas. That's it, light from a weather sattelite reflecting off swamp gas. I knew it! I blame Sputnik! That foul commie metal basketball of doom!

Now is the time is the post where I make a random comment, and sign off.

You loser.

2005-03-04T12:23:00.000-08:00

Long time no update, hey folks? Only 4 shopping days left until my birthday.

Things I would like:

A million dollars
My own spaceship
To be able to come up with jokes that I didn't steal from Strongbad

Today I went to some thirft stores with Tyler Petersen. I bought a shirt that says "Marko" on it. It's a polo. It's Marko's polo. It's a Marko Polo. In related news, I linked TP's website over on the side there.

You waited a long time for this update.

Don't you feel bad that this is all you get?

You loser.

Meeting of the Minds

2005-02-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

There was a mandatory dorm meeting tonight. The following image pretty much sums it up.

Heh.

I am soooo lazy.

2005-02-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

So I haven't updated yet this month. Whatever. I've been informed that today is one of those "holidays" people seem to prattle on about. From my research I've managed to discover that it is in fact TWO "holidays" today. Today is, first, National Ferris Wheel Day, and, secondly:

ARIZONA'S BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Arizona!

I didn't get you anything. I mean, it's hard enough to buy a gift for a state, (talk about someone who has everything) but it was also on late notice, and upon checking my assets today, I've discovered that I have exactly $43.86 to my name. That is not very much. And frankly, Arizona, your stupid birthday isn't enough to make me want to spend one dime of it. There, I said it. I am not particularly fond of Arizona. Or Texas. Oklahoma is OK, but I don't really enjoy its company either.

Okay, okay, I really do know what holiday it is.

It's Drew Bledsoe's birthday!

That's not it either?

Maybe it has something to do with this:

Merry Christmas, everyone!

It's Nap-thirty!

2005-01-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

Long time since my last update, it seems to me.
Busy, busy, busy.
About many ducks I have many men to see,
Busy, busy, busy.
I ate no food until quarter to three.
Busy, busy, busy.
I'm not sure why this update is poetry.
Maybe.
It may be.

That I'm busy, busy, busy.

P.S. Ok, so maybe inflicting poetry on you is a little cruel. Fine, here, take this.

Sundae Sunday: Sunday

2005-01-16T13:44:00.000-08:00

For you Pinky and the Brain fans (See: people after my own heart) out there, I give you this. Do with it what you will.

The phrase that will make you look and sound more like a loser than anything else I've come up with in my entire lifetime: "I'm SO blogging this."

I forgot what it was, too.

I'm sad now.

Ice cream is good.

EDIT: Linked Be Like the sqURL, by my BEST FRIEND Kaleb, and also added a link to the BEST WEB BROWSER EVER

Today I'm Feeling: Inadequate

2005-01-11T23:14:00.000-08:00

So, I have this day calendar that's all miniature paper airplanes. It's pretty cool, though generally all that happens to them is getting thrown at my roomate a couple times, then just laying wherever they last landed, much like my food supply. (Which is another story entirely.) So yeah, tiny paper airplanes. (Black Ninja Squirrel knows where you sleep.) Umm... I had a point about the whole paper airplane thing, but now I forgot. That's kind of annoying.

So, anyway, I realized today that I essentially lived the last week of my life in an area roughly the size of a city block. Somehow, this doesn't bother me. Meh.

Oh yeah! So this day calendar. Yeah. The thing is currently two days behind, cause I'm too lazy to reach over and break the crappy adhesive bond that attaches the paper to the calendar so that it can actually say the right day. I mean, it takes two seconds and I can't even do it more than once every three or four days. I am sooooooo cool. (Black Ninja Squirrel, on the other hand, knows where you sleep.) So, yeah. RAWK OUT!

So, have you ever been in one of those situations where this person does something and you feel someway about it and you want to take some action and maybe you do or maybe you don't do it, and then something happens, or not and the other person does something else, or maybe the same thing again, or maybe does nothing, or maybe says something about something in a manner that may or may not indicate that they feel some sort of way about a subject that's possibly related to the matter at hand, or maybe something else.

I totally feel someway about that.

Cheese crackers rule the world. (Black Ninja Squirrel knows where you sleep.)

The Frozen Lands of Nadisota

2005-01-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

So, I'm here at MLC. As the French say, "Voila!" At least I think that's what they say. I don't know French and I don't listen when the French speak. But it's cool to make fun of France, and I'm nothing if not cool. I am deeply sarcastic.

So yeah, in classic me fashion, my first full day at MLC involved me getting the wrong time for my orientation meeting and missing pretty much all of it. Meh. I got back in time to get free food, so that's cool. My schedule may kill me, I'm not sure yet. I do know that I'm sitting on 19 credits, so, yeah.

I've met approximately everyone in the last couple of days, and my already limited capacity to remember names is severely overwhelmed by the whole thing. We did a getting to know your classmates thing in my speech class today. When it came time to name off everyone, I remembered the names of approximately four people.

In other news, we were forced to eat Robin's minstrels.

And there was much rejoicing.

EDIT: Linked Reality's Remnant. I don't agree with some of the stuff he says, but it sure sounds cool when he says it, the silly Helenvillian.

Resolutely Yours

2004-12-31T23:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Freaking New Year, you tossers!

In case any of you out there who don't read this want to know my New Year's Resolution, I didn't make one, in accordance with the now famous Millenium New Year's Resolution. (Ok, it was 2000. Not the real millenium, but still.) This resolution was, of course, to never again make a New Year's Resolution. I had tried this the previous year, but I made the mistake of resolving to never make a New Year's Resolution, resulting in a Resolution that broke itself. (Which is the shortest possible time one can take to break a New Year's Resolution. This is quite an accomplishment in and of itself, I must say.) But now, I have the Millenium Resolution in place, so I'm all set. New Year's Revolutions are still legal, so, up the revolution!

In other news, I'm writing this one from my uncle's house in northern Wisconsin. I'll be here until Sunday, when I move into MLC. I'd give out my contact information, but you guys know that if I'm available to talk to you I'll be in front of this computer anyway.

I'm looking forward to getting to MLC, but not to getting back into the grind of classes. (Uggh.) Meh. I have a 12 pack of Ramen, a hotpot, and weekly D&D to hold me through. Also, as I no longer work at the job that was keeping me from facial hair, I have begun the growing of a beard. (Note: Stage 1 of succesful beard growing involves not shaving for a few days, so I look pretty darn scruffy right now.)

I got a ductape watch for Christmas. It's awesome. I also got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles boxers. Both of these were gifts from my mom. Kind of weird. But cool. Reminds me of someone I know....

Who am I thinking of...

Oh yeah, Samuel L. Jackson.

Stuff You Don't Care About

2004-12-21T01:34:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I worked 9 hours today and I had an exam. When I showed up 15 minutes late for my exam, (Java Programming with strongly Korean professor Vu) the following exchange occured:

Me: Umm... Could I get a copy of the exam?
Vu: Ahh. You showed up late for my exam. Maybe I will not give it to you.
Me: Please?
Vu: Ok, ok, ok, ok. I forgot half of the exam, so I guess it is even then, hmm?

That's right, he forgot part of the exam. (Man after my own heart.) Therefore, there was only the ridiculously simple cut and paste programming section, and none of the nonsense writing section. I was out of there in 15 minutes.

In other school news, MLC sent me a thing that told me who my roomate will be. I was going to put his name up here, but then the internet would have someone to stalk other than me.

In blog news, I updated the sidebar. I added Brit's blog, moved the blog section up, removed the link to MG, (which I quit like a month ago, and a big monster ate my character) and added a link to the Third Nipple Home Page. (It's my bible. Well, except for my Bible.)

Signed,
Ben "The Internet Can Stalk Me All It Wants, The Smarmy Git" Kanter

I'm not studying.

2004-12-16T17:37:00.000-08:00

Calculus is like math as seen by Picasso.

There was supposed to be a post on Monday telling you all to go see Shaun of the Dead. It didn't post. So, therefore, go see Shaun of the Dead three days ago, and if not then, then see it now. It's really one of the funniest movies I've seen in nigh unto forever, so do yourself a favor and catch a showing. If you absolutely must, wait two weeks, and it'll be out on DVD.

With Christmas coming up, I'd like to make a very important announcement:

WARHAMMERFEST-A-THON-O-RAMA!!!!!

Yeah, we'll be playing Warhammer in Nick's basement either the 27th or 28th, or both. So, contact one of use nerd types if you're interested in coming. We'll let you.

Just two more exams and I'm done with Whitewater forever.

Tomorrow, take us away.

(P.S. Fixed the posts not coming up issue. So, now there is a post about SotD. Whatever)
(P.P.S. Looks like Ctrl+Alt+Del agrees with me about Christmas carols. Heh.)

Go now.

2004-12-13T20:05:00.000-08:00

Go see Shaun of the Dead. Why are you still reading this? You should be going out to see Shaun of the Dead.

You're still here. Go!!

Ok, you're just not listening.

Go see the movie now.

I'm sitting in my room, with an eggnog in my hands.

2004-12-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

The best part of Christmas: Eggnog.

The worst part of Christmas: An entire month of Christmas carols on the radio at work.

If I hear "The Christmas Song" sung by Christina "I'm an everloving moron" Aguilera, so help me Cthulu, I will do things to all the people of Clearchannel Communications that would be so horrific that, were you to film them, you would have to invent a new rating classification for the movie, NC-BD, which would mean that you wouldn't be allowed into the theater unless you were blind and deaf. Of course, parents would still take their kids to see it, and no one would check their blind and deaf ID's, and then the kids will go on a killing rampage and the media will blame it on videogames. And really, this would all be Christina "I'm so dumb I had my brain replaced with Silly Putty and I got smarter" Aguilera's fault.

I need a vabation.

I hab a code.

KHAAAAAAAN!!!!!!

2004-12-09T23:29:00.000-08:00

So, it appears that Captain MacEnGuyver (a.k.a Alex) over at Only Losers Blog has added a second contributing author. Now, not only can he serve up a mean backhand by your powers combined using only a paperclip, a wad of gum, and a dorito, but he also doesn't have to actually update his own blog in order for people to read funny stuff! The sheer laziness overwhelms me! Why the devil didn't I think of this!

Well, it's too late now.

There's only one thing to do: Go see Ocean's 12 as soon as humanly (or otherwise) possible.

And play a lot of Everquest 2.

"Let us ponder the ineffable, and see if we might not eff it after all."
-Douglas Adams
"Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency"

Forsooth!

2004-12-08T18:03:00.000-08:00

Great Mississippi Steamboat Batman! This blog hasn't been updated in ages!

This is partly because my internet's been on and off as usual, and partly because Blogger.com's been on and off, and partly because school's been taking up a bunch of time, and largely in part because I've been playing EQ2 in every spare moment. (But I can stop any time I want to. Really, I can.)

So, how have you been? Good? That's great.

I spent my work shift today discussing plans to take over the world with a coworker of mine. I can't reveal all the plans to you now. This is not because somebody might actually read this and thereby discover the compelte technical readouts of that battlestation that I've hidden in this R2 droid, and hope that when they analyze them a weakness can be found, but instead it's because I'm too lazy. However, here are some highlights:

A Meth Addict Army
Tanks that shoot richoceting sawblades... POISONOUS ricocheting sawblades
African killer bee bombs
Mechanical spiders with "I Love Uranus" bumper stickers and tukhus mounted laser rays

I'm a genius.

I don't think they should teach God in schools.
God already knows everything.
School would probably bore him.

Greasy Breakfast

2004-11-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

I'm on my lunch break right now. I had to be at work at 6AM today. I'm eating a McDonald's Steak, Egg, and Cheese Bagel. I am tired.

On the way home to do this, I saw a Tennessee license plate that said "DDR MAN."

This has confirmed my desire to never go to Tennessee.

Things To Do When You've Stopped Needing Sleep

2004-11-21T01:52:00.000-08:00

Laies and gentlemen, I give you: insomnia.

My favorite monster has returned with a vengeance, and I thought I'd give you all a sneak peak into what I do with all of my glorious (sleep deprived, distant, half-remembered, copy-of-a-copy) free time. Well, first of all, I do things like this. And the post immediately before this. And other random stuff that has little to no bearing on any aspect of anything that might be useful.

And, before you ask, No, homework is not an option. If you think that you can do calculus at one in the morning when your total sleep for the week is less than the recommended healthy sleep for an adult for a single day, more power too you, but I can't even do it after a full night's sleep, even with caffeine, so it's just not an option.

So what do I do? I think. A lot.

None of this though is in any way logical. Some of it is a lot like the following:

Most Famous: Being in the Dictionary
More Famous: Being in the Encyclopedia
Famous: Being in People
Less Famous: Being in the Newspaper
Least Famous: Being in Bed

Bed is awesome. It's soft and warm, like a kitten. However, kittens grow into cats. This is why people want to be famous.

Eventually you get tired of just thinking this stuff, so you write it down. I have notebooks and notebooks full of this stuff. Ask me sometime, I'll show them to you.

Isn't it interseting how the mind can just think of things that have nothing to do with what's going on right now? I was typing that bit about fame, and part of my mind was thinking, "Where did my bottle of cologne go? Didn't I used to have cologne?" Cologne, of course is a city in France, and I don't know what I was doing with a bottle of France, but chances are, I burned it.

Another thing that I do at night when it's all late/early is listen to music. I usually just pick one artist out of my collection and set their stuff on shuffle for the rest of the night/morning. Hawthorne Heights is my current addiction, they come highly recommended.

I like sunflower seeds, but just the seed part, not the ones with the shells. Peanuts in the shell are fine, because there's a decent amount of something useful inside. Sunflower seeds have a 3:1 shell to seed ratio. This is totally inefficient for mindless snacking.

Which brings me to another facet of late nights: Eating. It turns out that you burn more food being awake than whatever it is that thing is that you do when you're not awake. Therefore, I eat 4-5 meals a day. (Breakfast, lunch, dinner, 10:00, 2:00, usually) I could so be a hobbit, but I don't have the feet. (More's the pity.)

That being said, Everquest II is not working for me right now, and I'm angry about that.

There was some interest expressed in my Mission - Codename: Applesauce, Applesauce, Applesauce CD. (Ok, one person.) If anybody's interested in a copy, you can either e-mail me, or, if you attend Lakeside still, you can send requests through my sister. (Who will also serve as a delivery mechanism.)

If you have the urge to seek out any Hawthorne Heights, I really recommend Niki FM or Ohio is For Lovers as good preview tracks.
EDIT: You can download the two tracks that I mentioned as good preview tracks here. Also, take a listen at that other song, it's amazing.

I wrote this poem a couple nights ago that I call Sleep. I won't inflict it on you, but here's one of my favorite lines for my closing thought:

Quote the Bard:
"To die, to sleep, and not to dream."
And what is sleep, but a death to life, and a dream of tomorrow?

Today I'm Feeling: Narcissistic

2004-11-20T21:06:00.000-08:00

I have a humunguos, ginormous, largetastic brain.

Don't believe me, ask Brit.

Also, in related news, see here.

Shortest. Post. Ever.

Ask Kanter

2004-11-17T15:59:00.000-08:00

The profile setup for Blogger.com includes a random question, which you may answer at your leisure to be included in your public profile. The stupid questions they ask I thought required extensive telling off, so I went to respond to the one they gave me. Unfortunately, my telling off was too robust, and the system wouldn't let me include it in my profile.

So now, I'm writing it here, devious cur that I am.

And, seeing as I was answering a question, I thought I'd answer a couple other questions that come up occasionally while I was at it. Sort of like a giant, sarcastic FAQ.

Aren't paper mache cuts the worst? (This one from Blogger.com)

Unless you're making some sort of paper mache knife (In which case you should crack a window) the only time paper mache has enough hardness to gut anything is when it has already dried into some kid's 3rd grade science project, and is completely harmless. In all other cases it is WET PAPER. If you have somehow managed to cut yourself on wet paper, then I congratualte you for still being alive. I'm not sure how you've managed with your severe intelligence handicap long enough to ask me this completely inane and overly contrived question, but you should definitely try to enjoy what of your life you have left before you accidently cut out your own lungs with a left-handed safety scissors. Also, DO NOT BREED. Please, think of those of us who'd have to teach your resultant progeny. Think of the good fo the human gene pool. This is not an option. The one and only real contribution you can ever make to society is not contributing to society. And you will do this, or so help me, I will give you a spork and leave you alone for ten minutes to make sure your line ends there.
Next question, please.

Is there life after death?
Well, of course. The real question is, "Is there undeath after death?" This is a question much more in keeping with the sort of things modern science should really be looking into. I mean, I don't care if you can make my coffee maker fresh grind the beans just before it makes my coffee, just before I wake up. I mean, sure, this is a marvelous thing that affords me fresh ground coffee with less work, and anything with less work is fine by me. What I really want from science is some definitive sort of yea/nay answer on the question of zombies, animated skeletons, or other undead (vampires, wights, liches, that sort of thing). Can these sorts of things exist? I really want to know. Even scientific creation of pseudo-undead is worth looking into. The zombies in Resident Evil, for example, are not actually zombies, but animated tissue with only basic instincts. There's a load of difference there. At the very least, can we at least create some sort of nanites that find human bones and bind them together to make skeletons? And how hard would it really be to genetically engineer vampires? Man, some of these goth types belive that they're vampires already, and they've already got the fangs. Can't we just give them the ability to live off of blood, and a fear of garlic? They already fear light, so that's not an issue. I mean, immortality might be a little hard, but I think you guys just have one too many donut breaks. Honestly, how hard could it be? Come on, science, we're waiting here.
Next question please.

Why are we here?
Well, you're apparently here to ask this question.
I, on the other hand, am here to say:
Next question, please.

Are you crazy?
Define crazy.
Next question please.

Are you posessed of a mental illness?
I don't have any specific illness that I know of, but I am getting pretty sick and tired of these questions, and that's enough to make anyone snap. Of course, the fact that it is, in fact, myself asking me these questions that annoy me so, one could argue for schizophrenia, but I argue that with myself all the time, and we've yet to come up with a definitive answer. Actually, all we've really managed to pump out on the issue are a couple rehashes of old schizo jokes. (Q: How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1/8 to 1/2)
Next question, please.

Nothing further.

Why thank you for this annoyingly banal line of questioning which has produced nothing useful from the both of us.

If you readers out there would like me to answer your question, you can e-mail me at rromagar@hotmail.com. In this I have become more like Alex, and soon I will kill him and take over his life, and the only person who will notice will be Scott, but he's all anti-social and no one listens to him anyway.

I make myself laugh. The rest of you are a secondary concern.

Greasy Haired EQ2 Geek Ramble

2004-11-15T18:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, I figured while the EQ2 servers are down for ten minutes for maintenence and an update, I'd blog the past week.

EQ2 IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, folks, I've been playing almost nonstop for a week, and I can't say enough. It's a great game. There's nothing so amusing as getting together with a bunch of people, (real, live people(Ok, maybe the digital avatars created by real, live people, but real, live people are controlling them nonetheless) and beating a bunch of orcs senseless. An dmaybe you didn't know these people before, or maybe you did, but, in any case, you hang out with them while resting up to kill the next mob of orcs, and you generally have a rolicking good time. Me loves it so much me grammers can't not never keep me up.

In other, vaguely grammar related news, MLC sent me my class schedule today. 18.50 credits! Whoo! Why, if credits were dollars, that would be nearly half as much as what I paid for Everquest 2! Man, I love EQ2. Now that I have it, I can give up my long, fruitless search for a woman who will love me for who I am, or maybe just go on a second date with me.

But, yeah, despite the 18.5 credit thing, and how much it's going to cut into my EQ2 time (Sweet, sweet game of my heart) I'm really looking forward to January, when I can take my computer and two changes of clothes, and go live at MLC. Seriously.

Yeah, I love telling people about this MLC thing. (Though, I don't love it nearly as much as I love EQ2. I mean, how could I?) It's great, because nobody sees it coming, and nobody actually believes me. It's wonderful. (Almost, but not nearly as wonderful as earlier today when I got the orc spine that completed my orc mastery quest, not only giving me untold powers over those foul beasts, but also enough XP to catapult me into level 14. It was a truly glorious time for Tameth, Kerra Predator.)

I must go now. The Server of EQ2, that very siren which lures my soul and tugs my oh, so longing heartstrings, shall soon be back up, and I shall play once more, and orcs by the hundreds and thousands, and hundreds of thousands shall fall by my blade. Verily, it shall be so!

Ree-ahh-li-tee???

Mission - Codename: Applesauce, Applesauce, Applesauce: Phase 1

2004-11-09T06:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so for any of you who care, here's the full track list for the soundtrack to M - C:A,A,A:
1. Super Rad - The Aquabats
2. Keasbey Nights - Catch-22
3. Raise Your Voice - Bad Religion
4. Another Perfect Day - American Hi-Fi
5. It's The End of the World As We Know It - Great Big Sea
6. Point/Counterpoint - Streetlight Manifesto
7. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything - Relient K
8. Dear Sergio - Catch-22
9. The Little Things - Good Charlotte
10. Supersonic - Bad Religion
11. Build Me Up Buttercup (Punk Cover)
12. 61C Days Turned to Nights - Justin Sane
13. Good Riddance - Green Day
14. This One Goes Out To... - Catch-22
15. We Are The Few - Streetlight Manifesto
16. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
17. History of a Boring Town - Less Than Jake
18. Sorrow - Bad Religion
19. The Big Sleep - Streetlight Manifesto
20. Brown Eyed Girl (Ska Cover) - Reel Big Fish
21. 9mm and A Three Piece Suit - Catch-22
22. Destined for Nothing - Bad Religion
23. Guitarzan - Ray Stevens

So, I called some stores, and nothing more local than Best Buy has EQ2, and they don't open until 10, so I thought I'd get off one more blog before all I ever do is play Evercrack (err... quest) 2.

In about 2.5 hours, I'll have EQ2 on my computer.

WHOO!!!!!!!!!!

And now for another Annie parody:

I'm poor as a mouse,
But my computer has good graphics.
I'm going to by EQ2
'Cause It'll be fantastic.

And if tomorrow there's a nuclear holocaust too,
I don't need anything but EQ2.

I don't need aaaaaaaa-neeeeeee-thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing, anything, anything but EQ2!

Tomorrow may be the BEST DAY EVER!!!!

2004-11-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

I'm just too excited about Everquest 2. In addition, Halo 2 releases tomorrow, which won't be immediately cool for me (I have no XBox. Sad, I know. If you wish to purchase me one, I'd be happy to let you.) it will eventually provide me with some entertainment when I get to a Halo party somewhere.

Firefox v. 1 releases tomorrow, too. I may have to put off my download a couple days for EQ2.

Because, yeah, the Everquest 2 thing is the best part of everything. It's going to be so cool that I'm currently formualting a mix CD for the express purpose of listening to it in the car on the way to Best Buy to get my game.

The first track is officially "Super Rad" by The Aquabats. This is because I have also already dubbed my trip: Misson - Codename: Applesauce, Applesauce, Applesauce. I'll put the rest of the track listings up tomorrow if I can pry myself away from Everquest long enought to tell you all how the game is, and give the debriefing for Misson - Codename: Applesauce, Applesauce, Applesauce.

*The snack cup has left the six pack, repeat, the snack cup has left the six pack.*

*Better get us some cinnamon sticks, it looks like we have a live one!*

Ok, I was wrong. (gasp)

2004-11-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

Two of my classes got cancelled today, so I'm like, "Perfect! I'll go get EQ2!!!"

Today is the ship date.

Tomorrow is the release date.

I am dumb.

The guy in Madison was nice about it.

That's right, I went to Madison a day early.

I also realized that I'm going to have to fight Halo 2 crowds tomorrow.

It'll be so worth it.

Curses, foiled again!

2004-11-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, so after going off about how nice it was to have internet back, it died again. Blasted bloody bleeding thing.

The internet seems to be back now. No word on how long that will last, but at least the company's trying to do something about it. Hopefully it shoudl be steady by Tuesday when I get my copy of EQII. (Actually, I might find a way to get it tomorrow, we'll see.)

So, that play at WLC was awesome. (Hannah stunt doubled my cousin. And she had a beard. Heh. "I don't want to hang out with that girl, she has a beard.") They did "Into the Woods," a show I had never seen before. Very toungue in cheek, interesting points made. Worth a viewing if you get the opportunity. Only, don't see it if I highschool does it somewhere, because it's too high level for that, though I understand some try. It just seems like something that wouldn't work at the highschool level to me.

None of this is funny, so here is my current favorite joke: So, this dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

And so, I'm done.

Tooooomorrow, Tooooomorrow,
EQII tomorrow.
It's only a DAAAAAAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet, Sweet Bandwidth!!!

2004-11-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

I have this wireless internet service that hasn't been all that good. It inexplicably stops working, and I don't get very high bandwidth totals. (For high speed. I'm kicking dialup's rear end six ways from sunday. Maybe even seven.) However, the last two days it didn't work at all. That was when I realized how much I like it. When I had to wait until 10 PM at night to read the latest Order of the Stick (on the dialup and on my parent's computer) that was sheer agony. Turns out the problem was a faulty transmitter interfering with the good transmitter, killing the internet dead. But now, they pulled the plug on that, and I have all the bandwidth I can lap up. I'll never defame you again, my precious data stream.

In other news, after much waiting, I finally got a copy of Neverwinter Nights Platinum Edition. I purchased it a month ago or so on rain check at my local ShopKo, and they just stocked it today. However, between the original sale price, mislabeling, and the discount they gave me for my (excruciatingly) long wait, I got the thing for 20 bucks. Not a bad deal, all in all.

I played it for three hours today, and I managed to get myself a sweet Sorceror/Dragon Disciple, who dual wields katanas. (I found these sweet guantlets that grant nice dual wield abilities.)

However, my NWN time is limited, as there are only THREE DAYS UNTIL EQII!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to see a play at WLC tonight.

More stuff that may be funny, but will probably also be dull, tomorrow. (Or something.)

Politics, Wild Cherry Pepsi, and Intense Boredom (Or, Why I'm Hungry)

2004-11-03T09:03:00.000-08:00

First off, I'm writing this from my java programming class. (COMPSCI 171) Why? Because this class is boring. Professor Hieu Vu (Has an accent that's as heavily asian as his name. Semi-famous for the line, "You see, I teach you. I know everything.") is teaching us how to do the project that was due for Monday that I turned in last week Friday. So much fun.

I'm sure everyone knows at least a little bit about last night's election. Since about 2 AM, unless something freaking crazy happens, (As my Global Perspectives teacher said, "It seems everything's over but the crying.") it looks like we get another four years with Bush. However, this insanity seems like it will still go on for a bit yet, with John Kerry holding onto the election by his pinky fingernails with the tenacity of a drunk bulldog. (Quote from Tony Blair: "I am sure that the whole House will join me in sending congratulations to President... Karzai of Afghanistan. Like everyone else, I await the outcome of the other presidential election with interest. ") I know this because I was up until like 4:30 watching election results, and cursing my crappy internet connection. I had planned on doing this (Though I had hoped for more from my internet connection) and had purposefully stockpiled Dewski. However, some hooligan or hooligans who live in my home drank my nectar of life, and I was forced to drink the only other caffeinated beverage in my house: Wild Cherry Pepsi.

Now, I have no problem with WCP, it's just not a beverage that I like to drink in large quantities, and in order to function today (One of my long class days) I need quite a bit of it. After about my third can, I started to desire to drink anything else. I quick perusal of my coffee collection showed that there were no less than 13 flavors of coffee in my freezer, and also that they were all decaf. Even more tortuous were the three packages of Berres Brothers Higlander Grog Caffeinated Delightful Tasting Energy and Life Giving Beverage that were in my basement, but which I could not drink because they were band fundraiser coffee that needed to go out to someone else. So, I finally just stopped drinking caffeine after can 4. (the one I had in the car on the way to school)

Compounding this issue is the fact that I've been to lazy to get forty-seven dollars to University Food Services so that I can eat ten more times on campus. So, I don't get to eat on campus today, which means I can't get my usual giant fountain cup of Dr Pepper. It also means I don't get to eat until after 2 of the clock.

However, other than the above today is pretty sweet. I'm wearing my until recently missing Order of the Stick t-shirt. This makes me happy. My rabidly democratic Global Perspectives teacher was all tired and depressed. This made me happy. Prof. Vu just said the phrase, "You are the destroyer, you are the master of destruction." Perhaps if I had been paying attention, I'd know what he meant. Oh well. Still makes me happy. I'm going to MLC in a couple months. Also, happy making. And, it's only 5 more days until EQII. Heh.

Well, I just checked BBC, and they said that Kerry has conceeded Ohio, and the election to GW.

Let the crying begin.

Pizza rolls bad! Pizza rolls burn!

2004-11-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

I just microwaved some pizza rolls for lunch. Those suckers spent 60 seconds being bombarded by electromagnetic rays, and then having their water molecules vibrate rapidly, producing heat. So, of course, the second they came out of the microwave, I put a whole one in my mouth.

I can't feel my tongue.

Normally I make fun of other stupid people. Today, I have made fun of myself. (I'm such an idiot.)

In other news, I sent my MLC application off about an hour ago, so I've offically started the process of becoming a teacher. (Whoo!) In case it wasn't clear in my last post, (Which, I've deduced from what people have said to me, it wasn't.) I'm transferring up (out?) there at semester, which means I get a grad total of like 10 days of Christmas break. (Bummer.)

I'd like to thank everyone who took two seconds out of their lives top say, "You'd be a great teacher, Kanter." I think I will be, but I was pleasantly surprised by the number of people who agreed with me enough to actually state the fact to me.

Six days to EQII!

I'm trying to start a blogger link exchange with anyone I know who blogs. You can see that I have linked three blogs over in that link section, there. I'm trying to convince these people to link me in return, that we may all join together in linking harmony. Also, I've added a counter at the bottom of the page so I can see how many people don't read this blog.

Cower in fear, mortals, for someday I may impart my vision for the world on your children.

Deep Thoughts (Jack Handy not included)

2004-11-01T08:27:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't written a new post since Thursday, but there are good reasons for that, I'm sure. What reasons, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Reason 1: I spent Friday and Saturday going to/coming from/at MLC. This tends to eat up one's time to the tune of two days, 12 hours of which are spent in the car with one's parents. However, one does get to sleep in Nick Haasch's dorm room and give him a wet willy at like 7 in the morning when he thinks you're asleep and totally isn't expecting a wet willy, and then he hits you.

Reason 2: I've spent all the time not taken up by the above mentioned activities, and my job, thinking. How long can it take? You have no idea. You see, part of the reason I haven't posted is what exactly it is I've been thinking about.

For those of you who didn't know, I'm a computer science major at UW-Whitewater. Now, as of late I have found two major things wrong with this. The first, and most obvious, is UW-Whitewater. I seriously despise this place, with a passion. The second, less obvious one is the fact that I'm a computer science major. As this year has progressed I've begun to realize that maybe programming computers for a career isn't something that I could do my whole life. Realizing one's chose field of study isn't right for them leads to a surprisingly large amount of thinking. Well, I think, what else could I do?

Well, since I wouldn't be me if I didn't do something completely and utterly random every once in a while, I thought, What would be almost the exact opposite of what I'm doing now?

Ah hah! I could be a high-school English teacher!

And so, after much prayerful deliberation, and a lot of help and advice from some of my dear friends, I have decided that I will be attending MLC for to get a BSE with a minor in English. I'm a crazy guy.

And though I said "Jack Handy not included," here's just a little Jack Handy for my closing thought:

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

Picture & things

2004-10-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

I just put a ridiculously ugly picture of me in my profile. Enjoy.

Also, I linked a couple of my friends' blogs. Only Losers Blog may not update ever, but the one post there is hilarious. Justin the Computer Geek, on the other hand, updates with geekish fervor, but it's rarely funny. Ahh... the juxtaposition of opposites.

EDIT: Added John Pauer's rather amusing blog, Catalytic Superfluous Yes (It sounds like a spam title to me.)

People are Less Intelligent than they look. (No mean feat)

2004-10-28T09:57:00.001-07:00

A lady came into the grocery store that I work at over the weekend. She wanted to return a dozen eggs. It seemed that the bagger had put them on top of a thing of warm chicken.

The reason she wanted to return the eggs: She was worried that they might hatch.

Genius.

Everquest II

2004-10-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to EQII. I'm going to try to find a midnight release somewhere and go with my friend Joe. Which is double awesome, cause not only do I get to get EQII, but I get to hang out with Joe late at night/early in the morning, and if any of you have ever done that, you know how amusing it is.

But seriously, folks, EQII is going to be freaking sweet. I downloaded the trailer that they made for E3, and it's ridiculously cool. To dl your own copy click here and then click the "download" button under the Watch Trailer section. (Ok, maybe a little self-explanatory, but you never know.)

Also, if anybody's already getting the game, and is interested in joining a guild, e-mail me and let me know. A bunch of us are making one, and we can use as many members as possible.

I've got nothing.

THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE!!!!

2004-10-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

So, as I write this I'm sitting in the general use computer lab at school. (UW-Whitewater, in case anyone didn't know.) There's this guy who sat down two computers away from me (There are like two dozen other computers open that are nowhere near anyone else.) who's listening to crap (the kind that's usually spelled without the c) on his headphones, so ridiculously loud that I cna actually understand the sexually explicit lyrics without even straining. This, needless to say, is really freaking annoying. This brings me to my main point: I AM SITTING RIGHT HERE, PUNK!

Honestly, I'm a jerk, but my particular brand of jerkness pretty much extends to jokes towards my friends, and targeted uses of jerkness at things I don't like. I prefer not to, say, blare music in the computer lab two freaking feet away from the "Quiet, please. People are studying." sign. And, even if I did, it wouldn't be (c)rap, and especially not (c)rap with offensive lyrics. Honestly, people, I may occasionally enjoy something offensive every now and then, (For instance, I have a pretty bad joke about a blind kid, but that's another topic entirely.) but I don't blare my offensiveness in a public place, especially in one where it would be polite to be quiet, because I'm trying to freaking study. (Okay, I'm writing this blog now, but I was studying.)

That is all.

Crap: The Blog

2004-10-25T23:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm tired of ranting to myself in my own head. So, maybe no one will read this at all, but I get to type out how angry at all of the stupid crap of the world I am. And that works for me.

And now, something funny that happened today:

So, I went to the state Magic tournament this weekend. (Okay, that's neither the funny thing, nor something that happened today, but it's necessary for the setup.) I stated this fact to a co-worker of mine today. His reply: "Dude, you're a magician?"

I said, "Magic: The Gathering. It's a card game. I went to a tournament for a card game."

His response: "Can you do my birthday party?"

I said, "Yeah, I have this great trick where I pull money out of your wallet."

It's not that I hate people, just that they're idiots.

Crap: The Blog

Moved

New Stuff!

The Return of The Return

Tweeter twitter twoo

Done

I'm getting married.

Where I'll Be When You Come Looking For Me

Unrestrained

Things Which Annoy

Webcomic: Able and Baker

Metareview

Permanent Observations

State of the Blog Address

for all those d&d...

No, but I know his younger brother, Who.

O frabjous day!

Briiiaaannnn, Brriiiiiiiiiiiaaaaan!

A Pictographic Analysis of the Situation at Hand, or, Crappy Cellphone Pictures Ahead: Viewer Beware!

Reason Why Ben Hasn't Posted...

Let's talk.

Pikey Hat: A Retrospective

Because I Promised Manda..

Gratzorgravy! (A World of Warcraft Adventure)

Interview With A Blogpire

Keep Your Feet On The Ground!

A Conundrum, Wrapped in an Enigma, Wrapped in a Warm Flour Tortilla

Lovely Set of Circumstances

WTB Gaelic Storm PST

Redirecting Guilt, Part Deux

Oh noes!

for Amanda

The League of Extraordinary Gentlethings

Crossing Minnesota

Technology: 1, Me: 0

New and Exciting Pinnacles of Laziness

A slow death

The Thrill of Defeat

Insomnia 2: Electric Boogaloo

Open Letter to Hoobastank

In which our hero proves how truly uncool he really is

Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

Repeat the Swelling Strains

We'll Get the Blog to Kill the Pods!

Excuses, excuses

I Must Destroy This Man, And Steal His Existence

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Two and fifty of the mornevening

Did you know that somebody reads this crap?

Spring Fever - Diagnosis: Botulism

So I said,

Once again, too long.

You loser.

Meeting of the Minds

I am soooo lazy.

It's Nap-thirty!

Sundae Sunday: Sunday

Today I'm Feeling: Inadequate

The Frozen Lands of Nadisota

Resolutely Yours

Stuff You Don't Care About

I'm not studying.

Go now.

I'm sitting in my room, with an eggnog in my hands.

KHAAAAAAAN!!!!!!

Forsooth!

Greasy Breakfast

Things To Do When You've Stopped Needing Sleep

Today I'm Feeling: Narcissistic

Ask Kanter

Greasy Haired EQ2 Geek Ramble

Mission - Codename: Applesauce, Applesauce, Applesauce: Phase 1

Tomorrow may be the BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Ok, I was wrong. (*gasp*)

Curses, foiled again!

Sweet, Sweet Bandwidth!!!

Politics, Wild Cherry Pepsi, and Intense Boredom (Or, Why I'm Hungry)

Pizza rolls bad! Pizza rolls burn!

Deep Thoughts (Jack Handy not included)

Picture & things

Ok, I was wrong. (gasp)