Moved

I've put this blog on a new service, and updates from here forward can be read at http://www.benkanter.com.

New Stuff!

So I had a coupon code, so now I own www.benkanter.com. It points here for now. Also, I put a little Twitter dealy in the side dealy, so dealy bonus time.

For some reason "dealy" was not, until now, in Firefox's spell check dictionary. For shame.

The Return of The Return

I'm making some changes today.

Some of these changes I've made before, and they've never quite taken. Posting in this blog is an obvious one. There are more, but they're boring and personal and that isn't ever what I really wanted this to be about.

I quit playing Facebook games today. This seems sort of minor in the grand scheme, but it's a big step for me. Some of you (and I'm sure there aren't any of you left) may not know that I'm working towards a personal dream of being a comic creator. It's a long ways away, but I love the process. Part of that process is figuring out parts of my day that are wasted time, and converting that time to useful pursuits. Facebook games are almost by definition wasted time.

Learning how to write consistently is absolutely a useful pursuit.

Welcome back to the stage of Crap, internet. Welcome back.

Tweeter twitter twoo

I Twitter now. It's a lot easier than updating a blog

http://twitter.com/ZombieKanter

Done

I got married.

Umm... like six months ago.

I'm getting married.

Seriously.

So, that's what I'll be doing for a while here.

Where I'll Be When You Come Looking For Me

I was in Lake City yesterday. This is the lake:




These seemed cool and unique when I was taking them.


Better?



This one has a bird.


This one's actually a hill across the road from the lake. I actually really like how vibrant the greens came out on these pictures, it lends a tropical island feel to all of them.


It's actually pretty long.


This is where Rachel will be teaching.


Same caption as before, but more specific.

Unrestrained

I just discovered a really cool word: Nuannaarpoq. It's Inuit, and roughly translates to "unrestrained joy at the acts of living."

It's rare to find a single word that sums up everything you want.

Things Which Annoy

I have a near constant urge to create, to express myself. I want to turn the thoughts and feelings in my head into a media that I can show to you and say, "This. This is what I think. This is what I feel. Understand me." There are a couple problems with this.

The first is that it's utterly impossible. That seems like a fairly major issue, but it's not too bad in the end, because it's impossible for everyone, and frankly, that fact is so hardwired into my consciousness it took me a while to remember to write it here, because I had already taken it as a given.

The second is a lack of skill. Coupled with a short attention span, this means I can't put even a moderate facsimile of the image, object, words, music, or whatever in my head that I think might be able to represent what I want it to represent. This bugs the everliving crap out of me. This is what drives my love of paper and pens and pencils and paper and also paper. These things, for me, represent the potential to not screw up and actually create something that I want to create, and be able to get that little bit of whatever it is that drives the creative impulse out of me. If you've known me long enough, it's possible you've seen me carry around a notebook, and never write or draw in it, or maybe you've even seen me open it and not put anything on the paper. Maybe, if I was feeling really frustrated that day, you saw me draw a line on one piece of paper. It was probably curvy. Then I stared at it in frustration, turned the page, and didn't do anything else. If you ever saw this, and you probably haven't, you might have wondered about it. You probably didn't. In either case, this was me trying to transcribe emotion to paper, and failing miserably.

Sometimes I actually feel better just staring at a blank notebook then I do once I've put something in the notebook. I feel (not necessarily in such precise, conscious terms) that I might be able to create something this time, that the blank space represents possibility, represents a future where in I have given the world a tool to understand the crap that's flying around in my head. And then my pencil or pen or sharpie touches the paper, and the possibility is gone. The wavefront has collapsed, and there's a wavy line on the paper that isn't art, isn't profound, isn't a representation of my thoughts or feelings or ideas or my affection for you or for my parents or for my God or for anyone. It doesn't represent any sort of truth, it doesn't teach, it doesn't evoke emotion. You will not be changed by it. I will not be changed by creating it. It is a line. A curvy line. A curvy line in a ratty notebook. At some point I may throw it away. I won't remember what I was thinking or feeling when I drew it. I won't necessarily think about any of the things I've written here that I often think about. Actually, I most likely won't.

I don't know why I have this urge, but it bothers me sometimes.

I don't know why I feel the need to communicate this today. I feel like I haven't said what I wanted to say, and haven't told you what I really feel and think about the subject. I feel like this post is a wavy line.

Oh, snap! I said I was doing this diary thing maybe, but you didn't know it was going to be emo!

Webcomic: Able and Baker

Able and Baker
http://www.jimburgessdesign.com/comics/
Updates most weekdays

Alright, Crap: My Readers, here's where this stuff starts. Able and Baker is a comic that's easy to like. It recounts the exploits of a sheep (Baker) and a monkey (Able) who are anthropomorphic in a standard comic manner, and employed by scientists as test animals. (Which generally involves them flying a spacecraft.) That whole last sentence sounded really dry and boring, which is pretty much the opposite of the comic.

A&B is lighthearted and fun. The humor is great, it's easy to laugh at, making Able and Baker one of the most easy to just straight up enjoy comics on my reading list. The art is simple, but the lines are clean, the colors are bright, and the characters and environments are expressive.

Seriously, just go read a few. There's a fairly extensive archive of comics, but you can pretty much jump right in. There are a few story arcs and references to past comics, but that's pretty minimal. Read a few, you'll probably like it.

Metareview

Okay, so this will post under the actual first webcomic review, but whatever.

I'm not 100% sure how I want to do these things. Webcomics criticism has been done to death, buried, dug up, zombified, and beat back to death with a blunt object, and then had a close up of it's face shown after the credits with its eyes opening and a dramatic music cue, leaving the stage open for a sequel if anyone actually goes to the first one, which, considering the budget and content, seems unlikely.

I'm no longer even 100% sure what this post is about, so I'll just get to what is most likely my point.

I'm going to attempt to approach this as more of a webcomic recommendation than an actual review. There is a giant crap pile of bad comics out there, and I feel no need to point them out for ridicule. I'm just going to tell you about a comic I like, and then tell you why I like it. This seems like the sort of thing that should work, and that I might maybe be able to do on a regular basis. (Ha ha, guffaw.)

But, as always, this is all subject to change at any time.

So, yeah.

State of the Blog Address

I've done this before, blogfans, and I'll probably do it again, but I'm trying something with the blog to see if I can motivate myself to post more.

There are three main reasons I don't post much.

The first is laziness, and that's not going away.

The second is lack of a topic. To that end I'll be trying to do webcomic reviews weekly or so. I read a lot of webcomics, and I think maybe you people should read some of them.

The third is that I don't like to sully all the crap with overly diary type stuff. I am, however, aware that some of you would probably read that. So, I'm labeling all the posts. Normal random crap will be labeled as such, and you'll have the option to read just that. Webcomic reviews and diary posts will also have separate labels, and you'll be able to read those by themselves as well. The main page will still show all posts.

Capiche?

No, but I know his younger brother, Who.

You know what?

Rae keeps bugging me about not updating this infernal thing, and I just today realized that Rae could be updating it, too. Seriously, just because it's my blog, I have to do all the work? What kind of a policy is that? Who put that into effect? I can guarantee it wasn't me. That definitely doesn't sound like something I would decide is a good idea.

On a related note: Ham sandwiches. Pretty cool, right?

O frabjous day!

When all you have is a vorpal sword, everything starts to look like a Jabberwock.

Yes, I am suffering from some insomnia. Why do you ask?

Briiiaaannnn, Brriiiiiiiiiiiaaaaan!

Okay, I'm going to level with all ya'alls: I am so bored right now. Like, becoming a zombie bored. Becoming a vegetarian zombie bored.

Seriously, I have done nearly nothing for almost two solid weeks, and I'm getting crazier than a 540 Indy Nosebone McTwist over an erupting volcano into a vat with seven sharks armed with a standard 6-shooter.

In case you don't speak Awesomenese, that's pretty crazy.

But, yeah, it's not really the kind of crazy that tends to produce blog posts.

Yup, you guessed it: This has been a convoluted apology post.

A Pictographic Analysis of the Situation at Hand, or, Crappy Cellphone Pictures Ahead: Viewer Beware!

Welcome back, boys and girls.

This = late.

Thus, I owe you many pictures. So, without further ado, a pictoral tour of my new domicile:

This is my stove. It's a great example of the style of decor you'll notice throughout the apartment, namely: old.

Here we have a closeup of my spice rack. Items of note are my finger, two nearly full things of Lawry's Seasoned Salt, and blurry motion photography, indicating that this is where the action happens.

To fully appreciate this photo, it is recommended that you blast "Also Sprach Zarathustra" and imagine monkeys smashing bones.

Ramen, peanut butter, and hot cocoa: staples on which a man can live for nearly an eternity, if not longer.

This is the location from which this very blog post is being created, through a process we at C:tB like to call "Cremagication."

The Pikey Hat rests atop my Bible near the cable that hooks my compy up to the Interwebs. Something Zen is happening in this photo, but I can't quite determine what precisely it is.

The magic blinky lights that indicate that the internet is hooked up and pumping information, IV like, directly into my brain.

This is the trim in my living room. It cracks me up.


A wide shot of the living room. Things to note: Old looking furniture, old looking walls, and tiny, old looking windows.

Push the black thingy in the tank down after you flush.

LOL MYSPACE


If you took every closet I've ever had in my life, before this, and put them all together, they would still be smaller than this closet. It makes me feel just a little girly that this is one of my favorite features of the apartment.

MYSPACE 2: ELECTRIC LOLGALOO


I love lamp.

As you enter my apartment, you are greeted with this friendly reminder. Welcome mats are so cliche.

Tours in the blogosphere end differently than most tours: With the entrance.

That's all.

I probably still owe you like a million posts.

Meh.

Let's talk.

Okay, so I'm hyper-late now.

But, it's not my fault.

You see, there was a log-in issue with Blogger that was being super annoying, and I e-mailed the Google guys, and they got back to me with a workaround, so here is a post full of this run-on sentence.

So, while this post is late, it is, as stated above, not my fault. Therefore, I'm going to insert the two missing posts below this one, and give you some random photos, but not of me.

Sound good?

kthanxbai!

EDIT: Posts in place. (One is below Rae's, as they're posted on the dates they were supposed to go up.) Pictures to come.

Pikey Hat: A Retrospective

So, I have this hat, which I refer to as my Pikey Hat. This is the story of this hat.

Born at the Henschel Hat Manufacturing company in St. Louis, Missouri, the hat soon moved to San Francisco, where it spent some time at a weird specialty hat store on Pier 39. It was there that I first met the pikey hat.

Though I liked the cut of its jib, I didn't immediately buy the hat, because it's price was a bit rich for my blood. However, as I walked out of the store, I realized that a hat that cool that actually fit on my head was too rare a find to just walk out on, so I purchased it.

The pikey hat and I went on to have many adventures together. It was with me for the rest of that trip to California, and a number of later band trips as well, seeing many of the sights.

It came with me when I went to visit Iowa State University, in hopes of attending that college. When I accidently left it in a Chinese Buffet, it waited patiently for my return two days later. The woman at the desk recognized me, and immediately gave me my hat back. I had always had a suspicion, but it was then that I realized that what I had was a lucky hat.

Now, the hat doesn't cause me luck, (though I did wear it on some early (and more recent) dates with my lady friend) the hat itself is lucky. The incident in Iowa is only one of many times that hat has been lost, but it's always found its way back. When it was getting dirty, it was also the perfect hat for my role in Screwtape, and managed to get itself dry cleaned as a result of me getting stage makeup in it.

The hat now plays a quiet role in my day-to-day existence. It gets worn as head protection when the weather is cold, but the occasion calls for something a little dressier than my Mountain Dew beanie. During the warmer months, it also serves to make me look cool. (No mean feat.) And, on occasion, it covers up the LED's on my mouse so I can sleep in the tiny room I live in without having to turn the compy off.

This is all probably interesting to no one but me.

I think the hat would like it that way.

Gratzorgravy! (A World of Warcraft Adventure)

Kluber, The Grease, Paladin of the Silver Hand sniffed the wind, and immediately regretted it. The fetid stink of the Living Dead filled the air. He spied one of the foul abominations over the next rise. Calling upon the holy energies that coursed through him, he rushed into battle, easily smiting his foe.

Seeing a potential vulnerability, another of the damned rushed at his back. He crushed this one with the same ease as the first. "Lolz!" he proclaimed, /spitting on the corpse.

All of the sudden, a rush of golden light and a peculiar "BWOOHM!" sound came about Kluber. He knew this sensation! "Ding!" he shouted in exultation, "Zomg! Teh 60!"

"Gratz!" was the resounding reply from the heavens.

Kluber was rejoicing that he had reached the pinnacle of Paladinhood when another voice from the heavens, one of these "guildies" said, "Dude, now get to 70."

So overcome was Kluber that he fell to his knees and screamed to the sky, "HAX!!!!"

After a moment of grief, Kluber arose and shouldered his hammer.

There were things that yet needed to be killed.

Interview With A Blogpire

My friend Stacey sent me the following proof that I've always been this weird. This is from high school.

The following are the actual questions asked and the actual responses given by Ben Kanter.

Q: What is your name backwards?

A: Retnak Nhoj Nimajneb

Q: Who is the most inspirational Sesame Street character?

A: Oscar because Oscar don’t take no gruff from nobody

Q: What is you favorite element and why?

A: Vanadium because it sounds cool

Q: If you had to be stranded on a desert island for the rest of your life, who of the opposite sex would you take you?

A: (grabs me) YOU

Q: Why?

A: You’re standing right there.

Q: In you dream house, what would your front door knob look like?

A: A dragon’s head, that would be so cool.

Q: What animal would you be?

A: A platypus because they’re mammals yet they lays eggs

Q: Which leg do you put in your pants first?

A: I just put both feet in at once and slide them up.

Q: If you were the president of Djibouti, what would the first line of the national anthem be?

A: What’s up in Djibouti?

Q: What would be your Indian name?

A: Buffalo with tail in air

Q: If you had to loose one body part, what would you choose?

A: My left leg because I don’t use it very often. No, wait, one of my kidneys because you only need one. Oh, yeah yeah, put down nipple ‘cuz I got a spare.

Q: If you had to add one body part, what would you choose?

A: I would put an extra hand on my arm so it would be facing the other hand so I could clap with only one hand.

Q: If you had a Captain Planet ring, what would your power be?

A: Gronndy’s mom. If you don’t think that’s a power then you obviously haven’t met Gronndy’s mom.

Q: What’s your favorite quote from Toy Story?

A: “Who’s behind? Mine”

Q: Paper towel or hand dryer?

A: Both. You get most of the moisture off with the dryer, but then get the rest with the towel.

Q: Paper or plastic?

A: Plastic because I need them for cleaning the cat box

You're welcome, internet.