Okay, so I'm hyper-late now.
But, it's not my fault.
You see, there was a log-in issue with Blogger that was being super annoying, and I e-mailed the Google guys, and they got back to me with a workaround, so here is a post full of this run-on sentence.
So, while this post is late, it is, as stated above, not my fault. Therefore, I'm going to insert the two missing posts below this one, and give you some random photos, but not of me.
Sound good?
kthanxbai!
EDIT: Posts in place. (One is below Rae's, as they're posted on the dates they were supposed to go up.) Pictures to come.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Pikey Hat: A Retrospective
So, I have this hat, which I refer to as my Pikey Hat. This is the story of this hat.
Born at the Henschel Hat Manufacturing company in St. Louis, Missouri, the hat soon moved to San Francisco, where it spent some time at a weird specialty hat store on Pier 39. It was there that I first met the pikey hat.
Though I liked the cut of its jib, I didn't immediately buy the hat, because it's price was a bit rich for my blood. However, as I walked out of the store, I realized that a hat that cool that actually fit on my head was too rare a find to just walk out on, so I purchased it.
The pikey hat and I went on to have many adventures together. It was with me for the rest of that trip to California, and a number of later band trips as well, seeing many of the sights.
It came with me when I went to visit Iowa State University, in hopes of attending that college. When I accidently left it in a Chinese Buffet, it waited patiently for my return two days later. The woman at the desk recognized me, and immediately gave me my hat back. I had always had a suspicion, but it was then that I realized that what I had was a lucky hat.
Now, the hat doesn't cause me luck, (though I did wear it on some early (and more recent) dates with my lady friend) the hat itself is lucky. The incident in Iowa is only one of many times that hat has been lost, but it's always found its way back. When it was getting dirty, it was also the perfect hat for my role in Screwtape, and managed to get itself dry cleaned as a result of me getting stage makeup in it.
The hat now plays a quiet role in my day-to-day existence. It gets worn as head protection when the weather is cold, but the occasion calls for something a little dressier than my Mountain Dew beanie. During the warmer months, it also serves to make me look cool. (No mean feat.) And, on occasion, it covers up the LED's on my mouse so I can sleep in the tiny room I live in without having to turn the compy off.
This is all probably interesting to no one but me.
I think the hat would like it that way.
Born at the Henschel Hat Manufacturing company in St. Louis, Missouri, the hat soon moved to San Francisco, where it spent some time at a weird specialty hat store on Pier 39. It was there that I first met the pikey hat.
Though I liked the cut of its jib, I didn't immediately buy the hat, because it's price was a bit rich for my blood. However, as I walked out of the store, I realized that a hat that cool that actually fit on my head was too rare a find to just walk out on, so I purchased it.
The pikey hat and I went on to have many adventures together. It was with me for the rest of that trip to California, and a number of later band trips as well, seeing many of the sights.
It came with me when I went to visit Iowa State University, in hopes of attending that college. When I accidently left it in a Chinese Buffet, it waited patiently for my return two days later. The woman at the desk recognized me, and immediately gave me my hat back. I had always had a suspicion, but it was then that I realized that what I had was a lucky hat.
Now, the hat doesn't cause me luck, (though I did wear it on some early (and more recent) dates with my lady friend) the hat itself is lucky. The incident in Iowa is only one of many times that hat has been lost, but it's always found its way back. When it was getting dirty, it was also the perfect hat for my role in Screwtape, and managed to get itself dry cleaned as a result of me getting stage makeup in it.
The hat now plays a quiet role in my day-to-day existence. It gets worn as head protection when the weather is cold, but the occasion calls for something a little dressier than my Mountain Dew beanie. During the warmer months, it also serves to make me look cool. (No mean feat.) And, on occasion, it covers up the LED's on my mouse so I can sleep in the tiny room I live in without having to turn the compy off.
This is all probably interesting to no one but me.
I think the hat would like it that way.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Gratzorgravy! (A World of Warcraft Adventure)
Kluber, The Grease, Paladin of the Silver Hand sniffed the wind, and immediately regretted it. The fetid stink of the Living Dead filled the air. He spied one of the foul abominations over the next rise. Calling upon the holy energies that coursed through him, he rushed into battle, easily smiting his foe.
Seeing a potential vulnerability, another of the damned rushed at his back. He crushed this one with the same ease as the first. "Lolz!" he proclaimed, /spitting on the corpse.
All of the sudden, a rush of golden light and a peculiar "BWOOHM!" sound came about Kluber. He knew this sensation! "Ding!" he shouted in exultation, "Zomg! Teh 60!"
"Gratz!" was the resounding reply from the heavens.
Kluber was rejoicing that he had reached the pinnacle of Paladinhood when another voice from the heavens, one of these "guildies" said, "Dude, now get to 70."
So overcome was Kluber that he fell to his knees and screamed to the sky, "HAX!!!!"
After a moment of grief, Kluber arose and shouldered his hammer.
There were things that yet needed to be killed.
Seeing a potential vulnerability, another of the damned rushed at his back. He crushed this one with the same ease as the first. "Lolz!" he proclaimed, /spitting on the corpse.
All of the sudden, a rush of golden light and a peculiar "BWOOHM!" sound came about Kluber. He knew this sensation! "Ding!" he shouted in exultation, "Zomg! Teh 60!"
"Gratz!" was the resounding reply from the heavens.
Kluber was rejoicing that he had reached the pinnacle of Paladinhood when another voice from the heavens, one of these "guildies" said, "Dude, now get to 70."
So overcome was Kluber that he fell to his knees and screamed to the sky, "HAX!!!!"
After a moment of grief, Kluber arose and shouldered his hammer.
There were things that yet needed to be killed.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Interview With A Blogpire
My friend Stacey sent me the following proof that I've always been this weird. This is from high school.
The following are the actual questions asked and the actual responses given by Ben Kanter.
Q: What is your name backwards?
A: Retnak Nhoj Nimajneb
Q: Who is the most inspirational
A: Oscar because Oscar don’t take no gruff from nobody
Q: What is you favorite element and why?
A: Vanadium because it sounds cool
Q: If you had to be stranded on a desert island for the rest of your life, who of the opposite sex would you take you?
A: (grabs me) YOU
Q: Why?
A: You’re standing right there.
Q: In you dream house, what would your front door knob look like?
A: A dragon’s head, that would be so cool.
Q: What animal would you be?
A: A platypus because they’re mammals yet they lays eggs
Q: Which leg do you put in your pants first?
A: I just put both feet in at once and slide them up.
Q: If you were the president of
A: What’s up in
Q: What would be your Indian name?
A:
Q: If you had to loose one body part, what would you choose?
A: My left leg because I don’t use it very often. No, wait, one of my kidneys because you only need one. Oh, yeah yeah, put down nipple ‘cuz I got a spare.
Q: If you had to add one body part, what would you choose?
A: I would put an extra hand on my arm so it would be facing the other hand so I could clap with only one hand.
Q: If you had a Captain Planet ring, what would your power be?
A: Gronndy’s mom. If you don’t think that’s a power then you obviously haven’t met Gronndy’s mom.
Q: What’s your favorite quote from Toy Story?
A: “Who’s behind? Mine”
Q: Paper towel or hand dryer?
A: Both. You get most of the moisture off with the dryer, but then get the rest with the towel.
Q: Paper or plastic?
A: Plastic because I need them for cleaning the cat box
Friday, January 26, 2007
Keep Your Feet On The Ground!
So, this one time when I had medium length hair, and a big beard...
Namely, today...
I needed to get up early to buy my mother crutches. You see, she had to teach at 8, which, coincidentally is when Walgreens (The only local convenient source of crutches) opens. So, 8 am found me in line at the checkout in Walgreens, crutches in hand. The cashier asked me if I wanted a twenty-five cent package of some candy they had on promotion.
I play a lot of World of Warcraft. In World of Warcraft there are two main factions that players can be a part of: The Horde, and The Alliance. There is typically a great deal of animosity between these two factions, as their digital avatars tend to kill each other.
I play Alliance.
The cashier asked me if I wanted a twenty-five cent package of some candy they had on promotion. I said sure. Having already paid for my crutches with my debit card, I handed him a quarter from my pocket, and he took the box of candy from the large stack next to the register. Then he uttered the fateful words, "Heh, shrinking my horde."
Then I said (supposing I was speaking too quietly to be heard), "Alliance for the win."
He looked at me strangely. (Disproving my supposition.)
As I walked out the door, the customer behind me in line yelled to my back, "For the Horde!"
I think my friend Kaleb summed it up best when he said, "NEEERDZ!!"
kthnxbai
Namely, today...
I needed to get up early to buy my mother crutches. You see, she had to teach at 8, which, coincidentally is when Walgreens (The only local convenient source of crutches) opens. So, 8 am found me in line at the checkout in Walgreens, crutches in hand. The cashier asked me if I wanted a twenty-five cent package of some candy they had on promotion.
I play a lot of World of Warcraft. In World of Warcraft there are two main factions that players can be a part of: The Horde, and The Alliance. There is typically a great deal of animosity between these two factions, as their digital avatars tend to kill each other.
I play Alliance.
The cashier asked me if I wanted a twenty-five cent package of some candy they had on promotion. I said sure. Having already paid for my crutches with my debit card, I handed him a quarter from my pocket, and he took the box of candy from the large stack next to the register. Then he uttered the fateful words, "Heh, shrinking my horde."
Then I said (supposing I was speaking too quietly to be heard), "Alliance for the win."
He looked at me strangely. (Disproving my supposition.)
As I walked out the door, the customer behind me in line yelled to my back, "For the Horde!"
I think my friend Kaleb summed it up best when he said, "NEEERDZ!!"
kthnxbai
Saturday, January 20, 2007
A Conundrum, Wrapped in an Enigma, Wrapped in a Warm Flour Tortilla
Hi!
Anyone here...
Didn't think so. Good. Things are as normal.
Now, to type as if you were here:
Hello, readers. Welcome back to Crap: The Blog, the Blog where everything's made up and Rae stalks me. You may be wondering why there have been no posts of late. You are probably only wondering this if you're new to C:tB, because lack of posting is what we do around here.
That's about to change.
Ladies, gentlemen, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, I hereby announce that I will officially be updating at least once every 8 days.
Let me say that again: I (your beloved leader) will update this (your beloved blog) every eight (your beloved... umm... number) days. This means that I pledge that from this point until some point in the future there will be no more than eight days between posts. Why eight, you ask? Because I chose that number arbitrarily.
Veteran readers of my blog were skeptical quite a while ago, and are now saying to themselves, "Yeah, right, what's to keep him in line?" Fear not, gentle readers, I have a plan. For I have acquired a digital camera, and, for every day a post is late, I will use said camera to take a picture of me doing something stupid.
You heard me.
Or read me.
Err... the blog post I typed.
Be not afraid, I already have a backlog of apology photos ready to go.
Good night, internet, sleep well, good work today.
I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
Anyone here...
Didn't think so. Good. Things are as normal.
Now, to type as if you were here:
Hello, readers. Welcome back to Crap: The Blog, the Blog where everything's made up and Rae stalks me. You may be wondering why there have been no posts of late. You are probably only wondering this if you're new to C:tB, because lack of posting is what we do around here.
That's about to change.
Ladies, gentlemen, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, I hereby announce that I will officially be updating at least once every 8 days.
Let me say that again: I (your beloved leader) will update this (your beloved blog) every eight (your beloved... umm... number) days. This means that I pledge that from this point until some point in the future there will be no more than eight days between posts. Why eight, you ask? Because I chose that number arbitrarily.
Veteran readers of my blog were skeptical quite a while ago, and are now saying to themselves, "Yeah, right, what's to keep him in line?" Fear not, gentle readers, I have a plan. For I have acquired a digital camera, and, for every day a post is late, I will use said camera to take a picture of me doing something stupid.
You heard me.
Or read me.
Err... the blog post I typed.
Be not afraid, I already have a backlog of apology photos ready to go.
Good night, internet, sleep well, good work today.
I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Redirecting Guilt, Part Deux
As you may, or probably haven't guessed from the previous post, we've added a third contributor. Or, rather, we've added a third person who won't post very often. This is part of our ongoing effort to spread the blame around, or add more content, or something else. (It probably involves an internet buzzword, like "intersphere stratocasting.")
Also, we've apparently decreased posting requirements to the point where sentence fragments and internet slang constitute meaningful updates.
Stratocasting, indeed.
Well done, interwebs, you've made heroes of us all.
Also, we've apparently decreased posting requirements to the point where sentence fragments and internet slang constitute meaningful updates.
Stratocasting, indeed.
Well done, interwebs, you've made heroes of us all.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
The League of Extraordinary Gentlethings
So, yeah, rae got the first part of the big news out of the way. If you haven't figured it out yet, rae is now a contributing member of Crap: The Blog.
In other news, we're now taking applications for additional content writerers. If you'd like such an honorable position, e-mail me at rromagar (at) gmail (dot) com. Or, if you're lazy, you can just ask me.
What qualifications do you need to have to write for us? Not much! You don't have to be funny, as that would disqualify me, and you don't have to have good taste in who you stalk, because that would disqualify rae. In other news, it's self-deprecation night!
Hugs and Kisses,
Ben
In other news, we're now taking applications for additional content writerers. If you'd like such an honorable position, e-mail me at rromagar (at) gmail (dot) com. Or, if you're lazy, you can just ask me.
What qualifications do you need to have to write for us? Not much! You don't have to be funny, as that would disqualify me, and you don't have to have good taste in who you stalk, because that would disqualify rae. In other news, it's self-deprecation night!
Hugs and Kisses,
Ben
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Technology: 1, Me: 0
So, yeah, something was up with Blogger and it wouldn't let me add new posts. I think I fixed it.
In other news, new and cool things are coming to C:tB, so stay tuned for details.
In other news, new and cool things are coming to C:tB, so stay tuned for details.
Friday, July 07, 2006
New and Exciting Pinnacles of Laziness
So, since I'm too lazy to write actual posts, here's a conversation that I had with the internet (amélie):
amélie: good even, sir
me: Lo.
amélie: and how are you on this fine day?
me: Not too bad.
me: Yourself?
amélie: rather alright
me: Excellent.
amélie: indeed
amélie: but for the fact that you have not posted *stern look in your general direction, that being assumed east*
me: Yeah, yeah.
me: Not posting is so normal for me that it's just like posting.
amélie: true
amélie: but you taunt me with saying i'm in the background of a nonexistant picture.
amélie: and the most recent post's title always makes me think you're slowly killing the blog
me: Actually, the game pictured in that picture is mostly responsible for the blog's slow death.
me: It's not like I actually do anything worth writing about.
amélie: i used to laugh, mr. kanter
amélie: deprivation of laughter is a serious offence.
me: I'm not afraid to go back to jail.
amélie: no? that's convenient
amélie: and then you'd have interesting blog material to post about
amélie: huzzah
me: Actually, I'm probably just going to post this conversation.
me: Thanks for writing half a blog post.
amélie: you're quite welcome
amélie: what would you do, after all, without the internet stalking you?
me: Retire to a desert island.
amélie: well, thank goodness i exist then.
me: Indeed.
amélie: unless it was a dessert island..
me: Mmm... Dessert.
amélie: quite right
amélie: so what have you been up to lately?
me: Not much.
me: Work, sleep, work, sleep worksleep
amélie: work where?
me: At a doorknob factory.
amélie: really?
me: Yeah.
amélie: that sounds so cool
amélie: is it boring?
me: Pretty much.
amélie: i figured. that's sad.
me: Indeed.
amélie: did the tantalizing thought of dessert distract or deter you from discussion?
me: Yeah.
amélie: sad.
amélie: i made fudge the other day
me: Mmm... fudge.
amélie: and cookies.
me: Mmm... fudge and cookies.
amélie: yeah, happy fourth indeed.
amélie: speaking of the fourth, i burnt holes in a rogue beach ball to mark the occasion.
me: Cool.
amélie: what'd you do?
me: Nada mucho.
That was easy.
-Me
amélie: good even, sir
me: Lo.
amélie: and how are you on this fine day?
me: Not too bad.
me: Yourself?
amélie: rather alright
me: Excellent.
amélie: indeed
amélie: but for the fact that you have not posted *stern look in your general direction, that being assumed east*
me: Yeah, yeah.
me: Not posting is so normal for me that it's just like posting.
amélie: true
amélie: but you taunt me with saying i'm in the background of a nonexistant picture.
amélie: and the most recent post's title always makes me think you're slowly killing the blog
me: Actually, the game pictured in that picture is mostly responsible for the blog's slow death.
me: It's not like I actually do anything worth writing about.
amélie: i used to laugh, mr. kanter
amélie: deprivation of laughter is a serious offence.
me: I'm not afraid to go back to jail.
amélie: no? that's convenient
amélie: and then you'd have interesting blog material to post about
amélie: huzzah
me: Actually, I'm probably just going to post this conversation.
me: Thanks for writing half a blog post.
amélie: you're quite welcome
amélie: what would you do, after all, without the internet stalking you?
me: Retire to a desert island.
amélie: well, thank goodness i exist then.
me: Indeed.
amélie: unless it was a dessert island..
me: Mmm... Dessert.
amélie: quite right
amélie: so what have you been up to lately?
me: Not much.
me: Work, sleep, work, sleep worksleep
amélie: work where?
me: At a doorknob factory.
amélie: really?
me: Yeah.
amélie: that sounds so cool
amélie: is it boring?
me: Pretty much.
amélie: i figured. that's sad.
me: Indeed.
amélie: did the tantalizing thought of dessert distract or deter you from discussion?
me: Yeah.
amélie: sad.
amélie: i made fudge the other day
me: Mmm... fudge.
amélie: and cookies.
me: Mmm... fudge and cookies.
amélie: yeah, happy fourth indeed.
amélie: speaking of the fourth, i burnt holes in a rogue beach ball to mark the occasion.
me: Cool.
amélie: what'd you do?
me: Nada mucho.
That was easy.
-Me
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The Thrill of Defeat
Here we are once again, kids: The "I haven't updated in a while, so apologizing for not posting for awile is almost as good as a real post" post.
So, umm, yeah. I haven't posted in a while.
I hope that apology is as good as a real post.
Bye now.
-Ben
P.S. I'm almost done with school for this semester, which is kind of cool, but kind of not, because I'm going to miss all my college peeps, and my girlfriend will be several states away instead of being a three minute walk away and run-on sentences aren't very cool.
P.P.S. I am not very funny.
P.P.P.S. But, then, you already knew that.
P.P.P.P.S. It's really your fault, you know. You knew this would likely not be very funny, and yet you read it anyway. I mean, you really have no one to blame but yourself.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you like that. Seriously.
So, umm, yeah. I haven't posted in a while.
I hope that apology is as good as a real post.
Bye now.
-Ben
P.S. I'm almost done with school for this semester, which is kind of cool, but kind of not, because I'm going to miss all my college peeps, and my girlfriend will be several states away instead of being a three minute walk away and run-on sentences aren't very cool.
P.P.S. I am not very funny.
P.P.P.S. But, then, you already knew that.
P.P.P.P.S. It's really your fault, you know. You knew this would likely not be very funny, and yet you read it anyway. I mean, you really have no one to blame but yourself.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you like that. Seriously.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Insomnia 2: Electric Boogaloo
I think I've figured it out, guys. I think my insomnia is related to stress. I always seem to have these wonderful sessions of insomnia soon after bad days. Last time I got a night's sleep between the day of stress and the night of no sleep, but this time no repreive was given. Crappy day. *BAM* No sleep.
This leads me to one inevitable conclusion: My subconscious hates me.
I figure the only solution is some sort of bloody coup in my brain, which mostly sounds like a really cool metaphor for a bad headache that I'll have to use sometime. (I'll have to use the metaphor, not the headache. Sorry, unclear antecedent.) Where was I? Oh yeah, so the resistance forces are meeting umm... resistance. This is likely because they're figments of my lack-of-sleep addled brain. However, in their defence, they only exist to combat that very brain, which doesn't really seem like a positive on their part, because I would think that anything who's sole purpose is to destroy the thing that makes it exist is unlikely to live a very fulfilling existence.
So, umm...
This post make no to less than that sense.
But, you already knew that.
And, you probably expected it, too.
I think the Electric Boogaloo reference might have tipped my hand.
This leads me to one inevitable conclusion: My subconscious hates me.
I figure the only solution is some sort of bloody coup in my brain, which mostly sounds like a really cool metaphor for a bad headache that I'll have to use sometime. (I'll have to use the metaphor, not the headache. Sorry, unclear antecedent.) Where was I? Oh yeah, so the resistance forces are meeting umm... resistance. This is likely because they're figments of my lack-of-sleep addled brain. However, in their defence, they only exist to combat that very brain, which doesn't really seem like a positive on their part, because I would think that anything who's sole purpose is to destroy the thing that makes it exist is unlikely to live a very fulfilling existence.
So, umm...
This post make no to less than that sense.
But, you already knew that.
And, you probably expected it, too.
I think the Electric Boogaloo reference might have tipped my hand.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Open Letter to Hoobastank
(Considering how popular this blog is, I'm sure Hoobastank reads this, but just in case they don't, could someone who knows them just pass it along, thanks.)
Dear Hoobastank,
If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use your helicopter to get to the top.
You can't stop me no matter who you are.
Love,
Ben
Dear Hoobastank,
If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use your helicopter to get to the top.
You can't stop me no matter who you are.
Love,
Ben
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
In which our hero proves how truly uncool he really is
Man, have you ever done that thing where you are listening to music and then you leave, and when you come back and turn the music back on you can't believe you had it that loud? I just did that. It was wild.
Less Than Jake is cool.
Umm... I have no real reason to post. I mostly am just hitting some hardcore writer's block on this Shakespeare paper I'm writing. I have a killer title. (I rule at titles. (Fun Fact: Last year I won the Elmer Schpederman Memorial Award for the best title on a paper in Literature and Writing II. True story.)(Addendum to fun fact: The title was: "my mind is a hunk of irrevocable nothing: The Thought Provoking Poetry of E.E. Cummings" Yes, that capitalization is correct. If you don't understand why, read some Cummings. It will hurt your brain in the very coolest way possible.)(Yes, I like poetry. No, I don't like Dickinson. Don't even ask. Dickinson sucks. Seriously.)(I'm wondering how many parentheticals I can string together here. (probably lots) These are really just devices for artificially extending post length, which is cool by me.))
myself, walking in Dragon st
one fine August
night,i just
happened to meet
"how do you do" she smiling
said "thought you
were earning your living
or probably dead"
so Jones was murdered by
a man named Smith and
we sailed on the
Leviathan
- "206" E.E. Cummings
Less Than Jake is cool.
Umm... I have no real reason to post. I mostly am just hitting some hardcore writer's block on this Shakespeare paper I'm writing. I have a killer title. (I rule at titles. (Fun Fact: Last year I won the Elmer Schpederman Memorial Award for the best title on a paper in Literature and Writing II. True story.)(Addendum to fun fact: The title was: "my mind is a hunk of irrevocable nothing: The Thought Provoking Poetry of E.E. Cummings" Yes, that capitalization is correct. If you don't understand why, read some Cummings. It will hurt your brain in the very coolest way possible.)(Yes, I like poetry. No, I don't like Dickinson. Don't even ask. Dickinson sucks. Seriously.)(I'm wondering how many parentheticals I can string together here. (probably lots) These are really just devices for artificially extending post length, which is cool by me.))
myself, walking in Dragon st
one fine August
night,i just
happened to meet
"how do you do" she smiling
said "thought you
were earning your living
or probably dead"
so Jones was murdered by
a man named Smith and
we sailed on the
Leviathan
- "206" E.E. Cummings
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Inquiring Minds Want to Know...
Overall on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 means “completely unsatisfactory” and 10 means “perfect in every way”, how would you rate your and your household’s experience with the following fruit juice and fruit drink brands?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Repeat the Swelling Strains
Ahh... Spring. That time when a young man's fancy turns to burning down all the trees on earth.
Stupid pollen spreading punks.
In other words, I hate allergies. Stupid things make me feel like I have gravel in my eye sockets, and my throat contantly feels dehydrated, no matter how much water I drink. Today the allergies brought a new weapon to the battlefield that is my immune system. They somehow managed to make my lip swell to inhuman size. This was rather annoying. I was just sitting in class, and zhoomp my lip ballooned right up. So weird. At first I thought that maybe my mutant powers (aside from the extra nipple) had finally arrived, but, alas, it was not to be. Superfluous nippleality will have to be my only power for now.
Most of these allergy problems seem to have been solved by the application of generic allergy medication. For only eight dolllars I can diminish my allergy symptoms for ten whole days! Hooray!
I hate allergies.
Stupid pollen spreading punks.
In other words, I hate allergies. Stupid things make me feel like I have gravel in my eye sockets, and my throat contantly feels dehydrated, no matter how much water I drink. Today the allergies brought a new weapon to the battlefield that is my immune system. They somehow managed to make my lip swell to inhuman size. This was rather annoying. I was just sitting in class, and zhoomp my lip ballooned right up. So weird. At first I thought that maybe my mutant powers (aside from the extra nipple) had finally arrived, but, alas, it was not to be. Superfluous nippleality will have to be my only power for now.
Most of these allergy problems seem to have been solved by the application of generic allergy medication. For only eight dolllars I can diminish my allergy symptoms for ten whole days! Hooray!
I hate allergies.
Monday, April 17, 2006
We'll Get the Blog to Kill the Pods!
Hello, interwebs!
I'm almost tempted to pretend like I never left. But, I won't, because giving into temptations that you almost have is the epitome of wrongness and weakness of spirit.
Besides, by being not very funny at all, and making random obscure references to random obscure things in my post titles it's like I never left.
In any case, I missed you internet. (Yes, even you, you crazy stalker. (Fun fact: In the original version of my profile photo you can actually see my internet stalker in the background.)) So, I will now return to my regularly scheduled program of updating intermittently and then half-heartedly apologizing when I return.
Also, sometimes I will be funny, but mostly not.
The really funny part about this whole post is that it's written as if I almost believe that someone still reads this thing. Whatever. I'm going to stick it in my IM name and redesign the site, and hope for the best.
Love ya, you crazy interweb monkeys, you.
I'm almost tempted to pretend like I never left. But, I won't, because giving into temptations that you almost have is the epitome of wrongness and weakness of spirit.
Besides, by being not very funny at all, and making random obscure references to random obscure things in my post titles it's like I never left.
In any case, I missed you internet. (Yes, even you, you crazy stalker. (Fun fact: In the original version of my profile photo you can actually see my internet stalker in the background.)) So, I will now return to my regularly scheduled program of updating intermittently and then half-heartedly apologizing when I return.
Also, sometimes I will be funny, but mostly not.
The really funny part about this whole post is that it's written as if I almost believe that someone still reads this thing. Whatever. I'm going to stick it in my IM name and redesign the site, and hope for the best.
Love ya, you crazy interweb monkeys, you.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Excuses, excuses
So, if you've been wondering where I've been the last two months, the answer is probably "sitting here, not doing anything." However, the answer I'm going to go with is that I've been working with my crew over at www.gamer-station.net. You guys should check it out, yo. We at GS promise to deliver at least mediocre gaming information on a semi-regular basis. w007!
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I Must Destroy This Man, And Steal His Existence
So, I'm listening to The Corrs today. (Yes, I listen to The Corrs. Yes, I'm comfortable with that.) And, as I was doing so, I looked at the cover of the album. (VH1 Presents: The Corrs - Live in Dublin; I'm not sure what VH1 has to do with anything, but they did present this CD to me, so I suppose I should be grateful for that.) Anyway, I realized that the luckiest man alive is the one guy in The Corrs. Seriously, that guy hangs around with three good looking Irish ladies on a regular basis. If any of you out there in interweb land know me, you know that that is pretty much my dream existence.
I mean, I like the ladies. I like the Irish. I'm somewhat fond of the number three. Three Irish ladies? That's just freaking sweet.
You'll notcie that I didn't spend the time on this post to look up the name of that guy from The Corrs, because that would just make taking over his very existence that much less challenging, and thus that much less rewarding. However, I am lazy, so I will instead probably just listen to more Corrs.
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.
Who can hang a name on you?
I mean, seriously, come on.
I mean, I like the ladies. I like the Irish. I'm somewhat fond of the number three. Three Irish ladies? That's just freaking sweet.
You'll notcie that I didn't spend the time on this post to look up the name of that guy from The Corrs, because that would just make taking over his very existence that much less challenging, and thus that much less rewarding. However, I am lazy, so I will instead probably just listen to more Corrs.
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.
Who can hang a name on you?
I mean, seriously, come on.
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