Friday, December 31, 2004

Resolutely Yours

Happy Freaking New Year, you tossers!
In case any of you out there who don't read this want to know my New Year's Resolution, I didn't make one, in accordance with the now famous Millenium New Year's Resolution. (Ok, it was 2000. Not the real millenium, but still.) This resolution was, of course, to never again make a New Year's Resolution. I had tried this the previous year, but I made the mistake of resolving to never make a New Year's Resolution, resulting in a Resolution that broke itself. (Which is the shortest possible time one can take to break a New Year's Resolution. This is quite an accomplishment in and of itself, I must say.) But now, I have the Millenium Resolution in place, so I'm all set. New Year's Revolutions are still legal, so, up the revolution!

In other news, I'm writing this one from my uncle's house in northern Wisconsin. I'll be here until Sunday, when I move into MLC. I'd give out my contact information, but you guys know that if I'm available to talk to you I'll be in front of this computer anyway.

I'm looking forward to getting to MLC, but not to getting back into the grind of classes. (Uggh.) Meh. I have a 12 pack of Ramen, a hotpot, and weekly D&D to hold me through. Also, as I no longer work at the job that was keeping me from facial hair, I have begun the growing of a beard. (Note: Stage 1 of succesful beard growing involves not shaving for a few days, so I look pretty darn scruffy right now.)

I got a ductape watch for Christmas. It's awesome. I also got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles boxers. Both of these were gifts from my mom. Kind of weird. But cool. Reminds me of someone I know....

Who am I thinking of...

Oh yeah, Samuel L. Jackson.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Stuff You Don't Care About

Yeah, so I worked 9 hours today and I had an exam. When I showed up 15 minutes late for my exam, (Java Programming with strongly Korean professor Vu) the following exchange occured:

Me: Umm... Could I get a copy of the exam?
Vu: Ahh. You showed up late for my exam. Maybe I will not give it to you.
Me: Please?
Vu: Ok, ok, ok, ok. I forgot half of the exam, so I guess it is even then, hmm?

That's right, he forgot part of the exam. (Man after my own heart.) Therefore, there was only the ridiculously simple cut and paste programming section, and none of the nonsense writing section. I was out of there in 15 minutes.

In other school news, MLC sent me a thing that told me who my roomate will be. I was going to put his name up here, but then the internet would have someone to stalk other than me.

In blog news, I updated the sidebar. I added Brit's blog, moved the blog section up, removed the link to MG, (which I quit like a month ago, and a big monster ate my character) and added a link to the Third Nipple Home Page. (It's my bible. Well, except for my Bible.)

Signed,
Ben "The Internet Can Stalk Me All It Wants, The Smarmy Git" Kanter

Thursday, December 16, 2004

I'm not studying.

Calculus is like math as seen by Picasso.

There was supposed to be a post on Monday telling you all to go see Shaun of the Dead. It didn't post. So, therefore, go see Shaun of the Dead three days ago, and if not then, then see it now. It's really one of the funniest movies I've seen in nigh unto forever, so do yourself a favor and catch a showing. If you absolutely must, wait two weeks, and it'll be out on DVD.

With Christmas coming up, I'd like to make a very important announcement:

WARHAMMERFEST-A-THON-O-RAMA!!!!!

Yeah, we'll be playing Warhammer in Nick's basement either the 27th or 28th, or both. So, contact one of use nerd types if you're interested in coming. We'll let you.

Just two more exams and I'm done with Whitewater forever.

Tomorrow, take us away.

(P.S. Fixed the posts not coming up issue. So, now there is a post about SotD. Whatever)
(P.P.S. Looks like Ctrl+Alt+Del agrees with me about Christmas carols. Heh.)

Monday, December 13, 2004

Go now.

Go see Shaun of the Dead. Why are you still reading this? You should be going out to see Shaun of the Dead.







You're still here. Go!!





Ok, you're just not listening.




Go see the movie now.

Friday, December 10, 2004

I'm sitting in my room, with an eggnog in my hands.

The best part of Christmas: Eggnog.

The worst part of Christmas: An entire month of Christmas carols on the radio at work.

If I hear "The Christmas Song" sung by Christina "I'm an everloving moron" Aguilera, so help me Cthulu, I will do things to all the people of Clearchannel Communications that would be so horrific that, were you to film them, you would have to invent a new rating classification for the movie, NC-BD, which would mean that you wouldn't be allowed into the theater unless you were blind and deaf. Of course, parents would still take their kids to see it, and no one would check their blind and deaf ID's, and then the kids will go on a killing rampage and the media will blame it on videogames. And really, this would all be Christina "I'm so dumb I had my brain replaced with Silly Putty and I got smarter" Aguilera's fault.

I need a vabation.

I hab a code.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

KHAAAAAAAN!!!!!!

So, it appears that Captain MacEnGuyver (a.k.a Alex) over at Only Losers Blog has added a second contributing author. Now, not only can he serve up a mean backhand by your powers combined using only a paperclip, a wad of gum, and a dorito, but he also doesn't have to actually update his own blog in order for people to read funny stuff! The sheer laziness overwhelms me! Why the devil didn't I think of this!

Well, it's too late now.

There's only one thing to do: Go see Ocean's 12 as soon as humanly (or otherwise) possible.

And play a lot of Everquest 2.

"Let us ponder the ineffable, and see if we might not eff it after all."
-Douglas Adams
"Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency"

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Forsooth!

Great Mississippi Steamboat Batman! This blog hasn't been updated in ages!

This is partly because my internet's been on and off as usual, and partly because Blogger.com's been on and off, and partly because school's been taking up a bunch of time, and largely in part because I've been playing EQ2 in every spare moment. (But I can stop any time I want to. Really, I can.)

So, how have you been? Good? That's great.

I spent my work shift today discussing plans to take over the world with a coworker of mine. I can't reveal all the plans to you now. This is not because somebody might actually read this and thereby discover the compelte technical readouts of that battlestation that I've hidden in this R2 droid, and hope that when they analyze them a weakness can be found, but instead it's because I'm too lazy. However, here are some highlights:
  1. A Meth Addict Army
  2. Tanks that shoot richoceting sawblades... POISONOUS ricocheting sawblades
  3. African killer bee bombs
  4. Mechanical spiders with "I Love Uranus" bumper stickers and tukhus mounted laser rays

I'm a genius.

I don't think they should teach God in schools.
God already knows everything.
School would probably bore him.